A Field Guide to College and Beyond

2011-11-27T23:40:00.030-05:00

I was part of a strategic planning committee for our college a while back, and at times was a tiny bit frustrated that some on the committee were acting very much like many of our students when it comes to critical thinking and planning in just wanting to leap to intuitively gleaned and superficially considered conclusions. I suppose I was becoming a bit of a thorn to some in trying to structure the task in the traditional strategic planning fashion, especially on the SWOT analysis part, but I backed off some and became reasonably content with a process that seemed somewhat incomplete and unsophisticated, particularly for an organization's 5 year plan, as it occurred to me that a rigorous strategic planning process probably would yield only a marginally better result than the "top-of-the-head" "here's my opinion" type of ideas people were throwing out.

Part of this stems from the discontent I had been feeling in the latter years of teaching a strategy course as I came to have some doubts about the value of rigorous strategic planning as described in so many books and articles. This is because I am becoming increasingly impressed by the role of randomness and uncertainty in the world. My wife will often be frustrated by my lack of a definitive answer for planning for what to me is the distant future, as all I can do is express desire, intent, and probability, and the same seems true, to a degree, for organizations. There is so much that is unforeseeable that all we can do is reduce the amount of uncertainty and be comfortable with the concept of ambiguity. What this means is that we can be guided by principle and develop somewhat imprecise goals, with strategies and tactics that reflect the mission but may be nimbly altered as circumstances change.

But this is more than just contingency planning or prepared nimbleness, as it is more than alertness and flexibility that drive an organization. At the core of company or product is value, which often is more than just economic value and includes some psychological value. People like to buy from those that they like. They like products that express shared values, and reflect something of themselves (and we are all "brands," in a sense). The same is true for other stakeholders as well. If you think smoking is bad and selling tobacco is evil, you probably wouldn't invest in Altria. (and probably why Philip Morris changed their name to reduce the perceived association with tobacco) If you're an employee, of course you'd like to work for a company that believes in what you believe in, which often includes important elements of corporate culture, i.e., hiring "good" people, empowering employees, and all those things that make work a little less like work.

In other words, the endless hours developing and relying on a detailed strategic plan that will have to be frequently altered, needs to be based on and balanced with the consideration of the vision and culture driving the organization. This seems obvious, doesn't it? Well, ask people at any level in an organization and see how many times you get a clear answer as to its vision, values, and culture (at most, some might be able to parrot the mission statement). It was during one of our strategy meetings that this dimension of vision and culture became clearer to me, as after an idea was forwarded one of the members of the committee got excited (as excited as one can be in such a meeting) and said, "I'd like to work at a place like that." My point, then, is that while strategic planning has a place, particularly in satisfying investors/creditors and clarifying one's thinking, the sine qua non is having a clear vision and values that resonate with stakeholders, and being able to not just talk the talk, but to walk the walk.

image from stonyfield.com

"If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do succeed." (Jerome Lester Horvitz, aka Curly Howard)

2011-11-20T23:13:00.001-05:00

It's nice to teach children that trying your best and good sportsmanship are what's most important in playing a sport, which is absolutely true, but the practice of not keeping score delivers some bad messages.

It turns out, for instance, that performance does matter. Oh, but we don't want children to feel that they've lost, as this might hurt their delicate self-esteem. Really, is that the way life works? Everybody wins and everybody's a winner? It's easy to be a good winner, and hard to be a good loser. The latter is a very valuable skill, and being able to accept and learn from defeat is critical. It also develops skills in "picking one's battles," assessing cost-benefit, developing priorities and strategizing, and so much more, including having a grasp of reality.

And sometimes it's OK to let a kid know that what they did wasn't great. Of course you'd never yell at or criticize a kid for making a bad play. (Hear that, win-at-all-cost coaches? And by the way, they're playing, not you, and it's just a game.) These are "teaching opportunities," and "Nice try" is fine, but let's not go over the top in complimenting every little thing. Most people develop the ability to differentiate between a deserved compliment and a specious one. For some, praise becomes meaningless, as do consequences, because whatever you do is great, so why try hard to do something great since you'll get complimented/rewarded regardless of outcome? Ice cream for everybody!

And guess what, we're all the same but we're not all the same. Some people/kids are smarter, more athletic, more popular, and more and less of a lot of things. Learning that there's always somebody that's better than you on some dimensions will avoid some of the Deadly Sins later and let you be content with who you are and happy for others' successes. And in some cases, though you "deserve" better, life can be unfair, so learning this when the stakes are very low (e.g., ref's/ump's bad call) will make the road ahead much smoother. I see enough people, especially the younger ones, with a lack of responsibility and a sense of entitlement. Mommy won't always fix it, or as the Eagles say in one of my favorite songs (Get Over It):

You don't want to work; you want to live like a king
But the big, bad world doesn't owe you a thing

We want to protect our children, but in doing so we sometimes do them a disservice. I see a lot of people that have not really learned many of the lessons of sports. They do not know how to lose, do not understand or accept the consequences of their actions, have a sense of entitlement, are not empathetic to those less fortunate, etc. There are winners and losers, better and worse, and gently teaching a child to have the courage to put oneself out there when one might fail or look foolish is a precious gift.

"Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!"

[Rudyard Kipling]

image from randomfunnypicture.com

It Never Does

2011-11-13T21:19:00.001-05:00

Why is it that whenever anyone says, "It goes without saying," that s/he then will say it? I guess it's better than "speaking volumes" though.

image from stuarland.com

Who cares?

2011-11-06T21:45:00.000-05:00

I've written a fair amount about grading over the years in this blog, often despondently (e.g., Nobody here but us chickens 5/22/08, Just following directions, 11/16/05), but maybe I should give a tip or two to help bump up a grade for those that care about such things. And caring, or creating the appearance of caring, is one of those tips. I remember that during the first class of the semester, or "meet the teacher day," I typically would describe how hard it is to get an F, as you have to show me that you don't know anything, and you don't want to. Remarkably, there were students that did both.

Professors do actually care about the subjects that they teach, and typically will be impressed by those that appear to care about the subject or class, and more prone to give those care about learning students a break. I've had many conversations with professors who, when considering whether to give a student a break on an assignment or a grade, and especially the final grade, will consider whether the student has any real interest in the subject/course (sometimes measured by an often related construct, effort). Create the impression that you care, and you'll get that extension or extra half grade.

So how does one create the perception of caring? First and foremost, go to class. Some professors figure that it's your dollar and you're adults, so you decide if you want to go or not, and frankly would rather not see you if you're just going to snooze or be a distraction. Others will take it personally if you're not there. Many will view attendance as a vital part of learning, where you not only get a better experience by being privy to the performance and discussion, but contribute to that experience. Faithfully going to class is a big one to many professors. The smaller the class, the more important these behaviors. Corollaries for the classroom:

-Be on time (some professors are easy-going and just happy to see you there; others are offended by the interruption or the insult of tardiness. I've known some to lock the door at the start of class.)

-Don't sit in the back. Professors know that's where the bad students sit.

-Look like you're paying attention. Eyes open and in the general direction of the instructor (bonus points for eye contact), body leaning forward just a touch, jot something down now and then, and give a slight smile when s/he makes his or her corny little jokes.

-Don't be Little Sir/Miss Question. You don't have to constantly answer. The same is true for asking questions. Don't ask questions to which you know the answer; you think it makes you look smart, but it doesn't, and as professors probe, they generally catch on. Don't ask questions that are so tangential that they really are disruptions- they can wait until after class. Don't dominate discussions; let somebody else play. All these types of things irritate the professor and your classmates.

-Don't be disruptive. You'd be surprised at what we can see from the front. Not only does our vantage point allow us to see everything, but any behavior that is different from everybody else just jumps out at the instructor. Most of the time it's just talking, using phones or tablets/laptops inappropriately, cheating, and things like that.

-Don't try to ingratiate yourself to the professor. This one's kind of interesting, so maybe I'll expand on this in the next entry. In sum, it might be flattering or desirable for a few professors (in my opinion, the more insecure or lecherous), but most will just be annoyed.

For the office:

-If you set up an appointment with an instructor, be there and be on time. One of the most common complaints I hear from professors is when a student doesn't show up. Many's the time I've seen a professor come in just to meet with a student and then have the student not show up, and not even send an email to say s/he will be late/can't make it. You'd be surprised at how little time professors have, at least the good ones, and blowing off an appointment will probably really hack him/her off.

-If you go to a professor's office hour, or set an appointment, be prepared when you get there. Ask specific questions. The last thing the professor wants to hear is, "I don't get it." We don't know what that means. Give some thought to what you do and don't know and indicate precisely the points of confusion. Really give an honest effort to try and understand what you're having trouble with. Don't ask the professor to restate the syllabus or reteach a lecture. Communicate your understanding of the material, offer your interpretations of the assignment's requirements, suggest means on how to proceed, etc. And by the way, the odds are high that the professor will give you plenty of clues (read: hit you over the head with information) about what will be on the test or what s/he values in an assignment. Professors are usually eager to help those that care and have earnestly tried to help themselves.

Communication:

-If your going to class is important to the professor, let him/her know ahead of time if you're going to miss one, being appropriately contrite, and indicate a desire to "make it up" somehow. Is there another section you can attend at another time? Should you make an appointment for an office visit? Is getting the notes from someone else enough? etc. Similarly, if it is after the fact, email an explanation and apology as soon as possible (not at the next class), with the same questions about how to make up the material. I personally find students telling me whether they're going to class or not annoying, but a lot of professors eat this up.

-When a professor asks you a question, in class or in the office, answer the question that is asked. Ask for it to be restated if you're not sure. Listening to the professor communicates a positive signal about your motivation and ability. For example, many students will approach a professor with a situation for which they want a remedy. Most of these students are prepared to tell their story, often a long and convoluted one. Most professors will patiently listen if you insist on telling the whole story, but you are just wasting their time in cramming 20 minutes of story into 20 seconds of information. Almost always the professor has encountered your situation before, with your specific circumstances just variations on previously encountered themes. State briefly what happened and what you are asking for, concluding with the offer to provide more detail and an expression of caring about the class ("I'd like an extension to show you what I've learned," not "A bad grade will hurt my GPA."). And don't try to make the professor suggest the remedy; ask what you want.

Other demonstrations of caring:

-When you want a make-up or extension, what instructors want to hear is that unforeseeable circumstances prohibited you from doing what you were supposed to do (not you got home really late and you were too tired to study), so you're asking for the opportunity to do your best work, though you understand if that is not possible or if a penalty will be involved. Even if the penalty is so severe that it isn't worth it to do the assignment/test, consider doing it anyway; maybe even volunteer to do an assignment for no credit (most of us hate it when you ask for extra credit, by the way); do a good job on something that really won't help you and it will impress the heck out of the professor. Your goal is to show that you care about the subject and that you want to learn.

-Don't wear a baseball cap (particularly backwards- you look like an idiot), especially on test day, and never with "NY" on it. (OK, maybe that's just me)

image from getyourgreenon.wordpress.com

Trick or Trick

2011-10-30T22:56:00.002-04:00

Snow before Halloween (just a few inches, but a foot or two and 5 day power failures just a little north); don't like the looks of that, but contrary to public sentiment, we'll probably have a mild winter, which will make my oil bill slightly less painful but hurt all those winter-recreation businesses. Funny how many people's lives are weather-dependent. Must be awful to be at the vagaries of climate, but then that's the way it's been for most of history. Many great civilizations have been wiped out because of weather. Though now ours may be destroyed by man-made causes, as it nearly was with disco.

image from steadfasthomeinventory.com

Because we've always done it this way

2011-10-23T23:50:00.002-04:00

What is the answer you usually get when asking about a bad policy or procedure?

And about Jeopardy, it was pretty interesting that a computer beat the best humans. I remember when a computer beat the world chess champion (having effectively "solved" the game, meaning that every possible move leading to the end of the game could be analyzed at any point). Now if only a customer service computer menu could provide the least bit of customer service.

image from mentalfloss.com

NPR

2011-10-16T22:33:00.002-04:00

A production meeting at NPR.

"Let's see, we've got a betting scandal on the World Series, the British Prime Minister announcing that Great Britain is pulling out of the European Union, or a debate on which irrigation system to build in a Bolivian village. Let's go with a half hour on the Bolivian water story. No, make it an hour, and make sure you get the most soporific speakers available who can blame global warming somehow."

Sorry, no picture with this entry. Tried to find a photo depicting NPR humor. There don't seem to be any.

The lower crust

2011-10-09T23:28:00.014-04:00

It annoys me when people think they are special. And I'm not writing just about the conspicuously consuming spoiled narcissistic snobs whose coffee must be from a particular freshly ground bean or who must wear particular branded clothing or who are so "outer directed" that they are but hollow shells of humanity. ("Oh, who cares if those animals are slaughtered; I must have natural fur to properly warm my body." Don't think you'll need to keep warm where you're going in the afterlife.) No, I'm talking about that everyday lout who doesn't eat pizza crusts, takes the middle piece in the cake pan even though the edge piece is next, and in general doesn't adhere to rules or convention because it is not convenient to do so ("Why should I put this back on the shelf where I found it? I'll just dump this item anywhere, and somebody else will but it away. They have people for that." They have people for that because there are selfish immoral people like you.) Morality for the "special" goes beyond a specialized form of individual utilitarianism to be reduced to "helps me, good; doesn't help me, bad" After all, they're "special." Here's the thing: everybody's special so nobody's special. So eat the bleeping bread crusts, drink the flipping tap water, stop at the stinking stop sign, and stop being so insufferably prissy and self-indulgent.

image from mypersiankitchen.com

Till death do us part? A license to nil.

2011-10-02T20:51:00.012-04:00

This is an idea I've been spouting for many years, and finally somebody has listened. I suppose it's possible that others actually had this idea as well, especially since there are so few truly novel thoughts (including this one), but I like to think that I started the ball rolling on this one.

Mexico reportedly is considering a marriage license that is valid for two years: "The proposal is, when the two-year period is up, if the relationship is not stable or harmonious, the contract simply ends," Leonel Luna, the Mexico City assemblyman from the Party of the Democratic Revolution who co-authored the bill, told Reuters. "You wouldn't have to go through the tortuous process of divorce.” The marriage contracts would include detailed provisions on how children and property would be divided up if the marriage ended at the two-year mark, Reuters reports.

Of course a very legitimate argument is why get married at all, but the reality is that there is a significant social stigma associated with cohabitation. I actually have a fairly strong bias against cohabitation, but it has moderated a bit over the years to be strong only against those that are young, certainly under 21, and probably under 23-25 or so. I've heard the argument from young people living together that they do so for economic reasons, but that's nonsense. If that were the case, then platonic roommates offer a better solution with a very high probability of a less acrimonious break when each goes their separate way, which is the very likely conclusion. Parenthetically, I've read that those who live together prior to marriage remarkably have a higher divorce than those who do not live together first. Cohabitating at a young age is at best just playing house, and at worst prostitution. But once you're an adult, do what you want, though I think if you're going to have kids, you should be married, generally.

So while you might think that dating and engagements serve the purpose of this "probationary" period, the fact is that you never really know your spouse until after you've been married for a while, and besides that truism it often happens that people change, sometimes not in compatible ways. (One of my all-time favorite cliches is that "A woman marries a man hoping that he will change, and a man marries a woman hoping that she never will. Both are usually disappointed.") Really what we're talking about here is immaturity and unrealistic expectations. But maybe that will change somewhat now that people are getting married so much later.(I've read that 29 is now the average age for first marriages for both genders- kind of hard to believe, but perhaps a good sign)

I think I'd make the marriage license period longer, but regardless of the length, this has no chance of passing, of course, because it makes too much sense. Besides, Mexico is predominantly Catholic, and think of all the money the lawyers would lose.

image from brideminders.com

Who's grandpa?

2011-08-07T22:57:00.000-04:00

Nobody knows their grandpa anymore. It's kind of ironic in that they're living so much longer, but between them moving away and/or us moving away, they're just not around so much. I hear my parents speak of how their grandparents lived with the family for a time, and for many there are childhood memories of a grandparent being part of the nuclear family, or at least so close that it was over the river and through the woods and you were at grandma and grandpa's house. I didn't know my grandparents particularly well, typically seeing them for holidays and the typical family events, and I don't remember them spending a lot of time at the kids' table at Thanksgiving, both literally and figuratively speaking. Now grandparents are in better health and don't live with their children and grandchildren, leading more independent lives often involving moving to Florida or the like. By the time grandparents start to decline, the grandkids are usually grown up, and the kids have and exercise more "managed care" options. In general, I don't think that kids have a very close relationship with the grandparents, at least not the way it used to be, and I think both grandparents and grandchildren are missing something there. On the other hand, I see more grandparents increasingly involved in child rearing, as many of the single parents come to rely more on the grandparents for babysitting and primary care. Folks that already raised kids shouldn't have to do it again for someone else, but sometimes having grandparents act as surrogate parents is the best option available. But that really isn't the "traditional" grandparent role either. Nobody goes fishing with grandpa anymore.

Nothing don't mean nothing if it ain't free

2011-07-31T21:10:00.000-04:00

I really hate it when commercial-free radio stations have so many commercials telling me that there aren't any commercials.

image from onepennysheet.com

Keep on truckin'

2011-07-24T23:23:00.001-04:00

Can't remember the last time I saw a sunscreen under a car's windshield, a bra on a hood, lights on a hubcap or license plate holder, elevator struts, or brightly colored windshield wipers. Then again, I can't remember the last time I took my pills. You just don't see a lot of guys working on cars these days, and who can work on an engine anymore with all the electronics. Cars don't need tune-ups too often, it's not worth changing the oil yourself, and "pimp my car" is just a TV show, it seems. Trucks, on the other hand, don't seem to be just work vehicles anymore. But why would anyone spend $40,000 on a truck (or put a gun rack on the dashboard, but that's a different line of criticism)? Yet there are a fair amount of trucks tricked out. I'd love to have a beat up truck with an engine that wouldn't die. If you own a truck, you shouldn't have to worry about dents or scratches or a little rust, never mind if it has multi-zone air conditioning and heated seats or not.

image from green.autoblog.com

Wine and vinegar

2011-07-17T23:43:00.001-04:00

My dad turned 80 this week, which strains credulity some. Over the years he has served as my "leading indicator," and we've talked frequently about the things he is experiencing and therefore what I may expect as I age. Unfortunately, it seems I am "ahead of schedule" on some things, but he's been an impetus to be more careful about diet and exercise, so things are OK. At my last approximately-annual check-up (can't say I'm real good about that), my GP performed a few tests he had never done before. He explained that he was essentially gathering baseline data for what I'll benignly label "future observations." Of course once you hit your 40s your eyesight declines a bit, there is some "thickening," and the minor yet annoying memory lapses begin to occur more frequently. Yet these sorts of changes, and granted I'm still fairly early in the process, kind of sneak up on you, like the realization that the aches and pains that have always healed no longer go away. For instance, my doctor correctly noted that my hearing may be just beginning to decline ever-so-slightly. But it's not that I don't hear as well as I used to, it's just that I don't listen as much.

image from http://ansi1260.wordpress.com/

Speed Demons

2011-07-10T21:48:00.003-04:00

Maybe we should just eliminate traffic laws and drive like people do in Boston (or Rome, or Istanbul, or most metropolitan areas), as the only moving violation that seems to be enforced is speeding. I'm not whining about getting a speeding ticket, as I haven't had one for almost 20 years. I don't believe that is coincidental, by the way, as I haven't been driving a red sports car since around then. I'm convinced that the "Arrest me red" folklore is true. I don't drive any differently, and yet my car now seems to be invisible (will probably get a ticket soon for saying that). Anyway, I see people run stop signs, right on reds, and even red lights all day long. Who gets stopped for running a stop sign or not stopping for a right on red, and almost everyone does, unless the police are looking for an excuse to stop you to see if you've been drinking. Click it or ticket? I don't think so. Wrong way? Who cares. And do cars even come equipped with turn signals anymore? Look at all the drivers without registrations, licenses, inspection stickers, still allowed to drive with drunk driving records, and a million other things, but as long as they don't get caught speeding, it's all good. As an interesting aside, I read a while ago that a company in California (where else) sells vouchers so that people can pre-pay speeding tickets. The way it works is that you can, for example, pay $13.33 for a $100 voucher to be applied toward a future ticket (don't know if there is an expiration date)- kind of a speeding ticket insurance policy. Pretty crazy, huh?

(image from gamerevolution.com)

Lyin' Stinkin' Weasels

2011-06-26T23:52:00.004-04:00

Got this from Chase. I don't think I even have a card from Chase, but I could be wrong, as I've been "slammed" (signed up for things I didn't sign up for) before, like that time I specifically told the lady at Macy's that I did not want their credit card but it showed up in the mail anyway. So I don't use a Chase card, don't want a Chase card, and don't know of having a Chase account, but got this anyway:

"Currently, our records indicate that you are not being mailed any offers from Chase and we wanted you to know we are continually developing new products and services that may be of interest to you. We are updating our prospective customers' preferences for receiving these mailings. We want to be sure that you know about available offers and that you have the opportunity to consider them.

Please completely fill in the ovals below next to the Chase product and service offers you do not want to receive by mail.

And there's a deadline too. So the point is that it's up to me to open the junk mail, actually read through it, notice the trick, take the trouble to fill and send this out by a specified time of their choosing, all to keep them from assigning preferences which I have not indicated to be preferences, and which they'll probably assign anyway and send me an endless stream of sales pitches because they're lyin' stinkin' weasels.

Can this possibly be legal? It's obviously not moral. I really have to tell them not to sign me up and if I don't I'll get stuff I have never indicated I wanted? Maybe that's how I supposedly have a Chase card in the first place. Wish I could find it so I could tear it up. But then, are the other banks any better?

Natural hairspray

2011-06-19T20:25:00.004-04:00

A "mini-station wagon?" That really isn't a station wagon at all then, is it? It's like having a "performance SUV," or a "luxury truck." Why would anybody buy these automotive oxymorons?

On a short leash

2011-06-12T23:53:00.000-04:00

Why aren't there tests to determine if one is fit to be a parent?

The ring of truth

2011-06-05T23:43:00.001-04:00

I've heard men say that they can't tell if a ring on a woman's finger is a wedding ring. Is it really that hard? If there's a simple band of gold on the left ring finger, leave her alone. Same for the diamond. Of course, there are some unmarried women that will place a wedding-type ring on the finger to broadcast or feign unavailability; disingenuous but clear, so again, leave her alone.

There are those that want to individualize the ring to the extent that the meaning is not clear. It's gold (white gold, platinum OK, but yellow gold better), it's smooth and plain (to symbolize eternity), and it's on the finger next to the pinkie on the left hand because people used to think that there was a vein there leading directly to the heart. If you want to do something unique, go ahead with your Celtic Claddagh or jewel encrusted filigree ring or the like, but beyond being confusing for the rest of the world, I suspect that the saying that applies for weddings also applies for rings, i.e., the more elaborate the wedding, the less likely the marriage will last.

I think more latitude should be given to the engagement ring, though. It's the primary ring for only a short time, and while a single diamond is classy, really anything will deliver the message. And the truth be told, expensive engagement rings are one of the dumbest ideas in the history of mankind. Why would anyone spend thousands of dollars on a shiny pebble at a time they can least afford to do so? Because we have to, because some women need to show off, because we're idiots. And ostentatious weddings? Don't get me started...

I imagine the ring thing does get a little complicated for unmarried, unengaged women who for whatever reason are "not in the market," as men are constantly prowling and always looking at the ring finger. I've thought forever that there should be some sort of color coding, not unlike traffic signals, to indicate availability; maybe something similar with the ring finger would do the trick:

-Gold band and/or diamond ring: taken.

-Any other ring: not available.

-No ring: available.

The trouble sometimes arises with those women that wear a multitude of rings, making the furtive check-the-finger glance burdensome and prone to error. Also, the wedding ring on the right hand ring finger, rare for the younger set, can complicate matters. It usually means that the person is a widow/widower, and I think the practice, though melancholy, is touching and respectful. Don't be intimidated by the practice; that former spouse will always be an important part of his/her life; don't try to take it away. It has its rightful place, and is no threat to you. But sometimes the right handed wedding band has other meanings, many of which I'm unaware, I'm sure. I know that for Eastern Orthodox members and in some parts of Europe the right hand is the norm. But odds are you're not cruising in the Ukraine. I've heard that some gay people wear the right hand ring in areas where gay marriage is not permitted. (And by the way, why shouldn't gay people be able to marry? You're in love, you want to marry, go ahead. What's the big deal?) Don't know if that's true, but I'm sure there's probably other reasons for the right hand ring too.

These same ring finger principles should apply to men as well. Wedding ring: taken. Any ring: not available. No ring: available. I know a lot of men, including me, don't like to wear rings, but it would simplify matters and is respectful to your spouse. So I wear mine all the time (occasionally through my nose, I sometimes think). Yes, in some jobs for both men and women, where a ring might get caught in machinery, for instance, a ring can be a hazard, so don't wear it on the job. Just like one wouldn't wear a diamond ring where the ring is in "danger." But in general, if you're married, just wear the wedding ring. It's the right thing to do.

Some final ring-related thoughts: Tattoo rings are creepy. Rings on toes are weird (and virtually always unattractive. There are very few attractive toes in the world, unless you're the Rex Ryan type, so don't go attracting attention to those spindly talons.) And if you see a tan line where a ring might be, run.

Whoopee

2011-05-29T23:08:00.000-04:00

A test of one's security is what you do when you sit on a suddenly "squeaky" seat cushion eliciting a sound that mimics that of an embarrassing sound associated with a body function. Most people will try to reproduce the sound to "prove" that is was the couch/chair rather than him/her. Odd behavior, but most of us seem to do it.

Perhaps the more interesting case, though, is when the sound really is from the person. This isn't particularly common, as most people have sufficient self control (as opposed to the "eight year olds" who actually make an effort to be coarse). But what does a person do, and what does the "listener" do, on those rare unfortunate occasions? In polite and professional circles, the sound never happened. It is just ignored, presumably not to embarrass the "offender." In impolite or unprofessional company, the crowd reverts to a pack of eight year olds in persecuting the "offender," and there are few things funnier than embarrassing body functions to an eight year old (and most men are eight year olds in bigger bodies). Of course, many of these "offfenders" are intentionally so.

There is a middle ground. A simple "pardon me" is actually kind of classy for those times when one couldn't get to the lavatory and light a match. (I actually dated someone who used to do that. Kind of quaint, really). Or maybe a little joke ("Oh, the geese are flying low.") and then just move on. And move on is the key.

Press release?

2011-05-22T21:15:00.000-04:00

How can clothing manufacturers get away with labeling dress shirts "wrinkle free" or "permanent press?" Wrinkle resistant, OK, but without wrinkles? Not happening. Even "steaming them" by a hot shower isn't going to do the trick, like anybody really does that (though a lot of us have tried it once), and it's not like you can put a shirt between the mattress and box spring like you can with pants (better line up the seams and pleats just right, though). Of course, if you're going to wear a sweater over a shirt, the issue is obviously moot. And it's not so bad if you'll be wearing a suit/sports jacket with a tie, as the exposed area is not that noticeable and will even out a little bit as your body warms up the shirt. Wear a 100% cotton dress shirt? Looks good once and never again. Iron? Who's got time (or a spouse that will do that)? So when it comes time to wear a dress shirt, it has to be wrinkle free, but wrinkle free it will never be, except on those rare occasions when you really shouldn't have wrinkles and will have to pull out the flat thing that gets hot. Of course, you can always send them out to the laundry for a buck a shirt or so, plus transportation time and aggravation, but not many of us will do that.

Got milk?

2011-05-15T23:36:00.000-04:00

I got a flyer in the mail from Hooters, which is about as close as I've ever been to the place. I don't really understand the concept. Not so much seeing attractive women , which resonates with all men, or at least 90% of them, I guess. But what exactly is the point? What does one expect to happen there? Will a young buxom waitress become smitten with your suave manner of ordering hot wings, or at your clever and subtle double-entendre that she's only heard a thousand times or so? But if it's all about an opportunity to admire the female form, which strikes me as a bit sad, well, if you want to pay your money to gawk, go right ahead, it's your money.

But here's what really befuddles me. On this flyer it says, "Kids Eat Free Every Saturday." What? Now there's some good quality time for dad and little Timmy. But the Hooters folks aren't dumb; they see the loophole, so underneath it says, "Must be 12 and younger and order from the children's menu."

Stop the Madness

2011-05-08T21:27:00.003-04:00

Memes, viral videos, and the various internet fads can occasionally be entertaining, but usually they're just dumb, much like 90% of the shared email friends send you to enlighten and brighten your day. Except for the patently absurd and erroneous hoaxes we all get way too often, most of the things our well-intentioned friends send are innocuous and easily ignored, and usually their hearts are in the right place. But please, make the cute kitty pictures stop! The ubiquitous lolcat photos just aren't as hilarious and cute as you imagine. Saccharine, silly, slightly annoying, yes, funny and adorable, not so much.

By the way, (and I really am not in such a hurry that I have to use "btw." In fact, no one is ever in such a hurry.), why would anyone call a class of perfume products "Toilet Water?"

Ps and Qs

2011-05-01T22:30:00.001-04:00

A few months ago I wrote about the actions and responses associated with the apparently simple act of letting a waiting driver cut ahead of you into traffic (Alphonse and Gaston, 1/23/11). After writing that I was curious to see if my perceptions about the ingratitude of those let in were correct or products of selective perception. Historically, letting someone cut in front of you merits a wave, head nod, or smile. So for the last few months I've been keeping track, informally, of the number of people who acknowledge the kindness of being let into traffic. I've probably observed well over a hundred cars let into traffic, by me and others, and it appears that only about 30% of the people let in actually give the figurative thank you. In fact, I've tried to note in general the behavior of people in "please and thank you" situations and am disappointed at how infrequently these words are used. But I guess that is something that an "old person" would say, isn't it?

A bit of kindness always clings to the hand that gives roses. (Chinese Proverb)

2011-04-24T21:14:00.009-04:00

This happened a couple of days ago, but it is still bothering me. I'm driving behind this fellow and up ahead I see a squirrel crossing the road. Like a lot of squirrels, it apparently doesn't have a wealth of knowledge about the intricacies of internal combustion vehicles, and is confused at the prospect of crossing the asphalt swath. As I religiously wear glasses when driving, finding them quite helpful at times, I can see this quite clearly and have plenty of time to slow down to ensure the safety of the little critter, and the car in front has plenty of time to do so as well. But instead of slowing down, swerving if necessary, and making at least a tiny effort not to needlessly kill a creature, this Neanderthal (and forgive me for slandering Neanderthals) makes not the slightest effort to alter his driving and sure enough squashes the poor critter. No brake light, no remorse, and I'm sure, no soul. And he was traveling with what I assume to be his wife and young son. Fine role model.

And earlier on this same trip, as the road passed a lake, there were a few signs warning drivers to not "abuse" geese as they crossed the road. Why would there be a need for such signs? Apparently there is.

I can see why there are so many movies, etc., about zombies, vampires, devils and other dead, evil beings. They travel among us.

Tenure Games

2011-04-17T22:01:00.038-04:00

This topic could be a book rather than just a blog, so I'll try to keep it manageable. First, let me frame the topic by stating that though I directly benefit from the tenure process by essentially being guaranteed a job for the entirety of my professional life, I am actually against tenure for college professors as we know it today. I do understand the desirability of protecting academic freedom*, but it seems unfair to allow such job security without accountability. It's kind of like the notion, which strikes me as absurd, that the actions of a human lifetime can determine the rewards and punishments of eternity. And in fact, it's pretty common that once one gets tenured, s/he is on autopilot for the rest of the ride. A few schools are going to five year reviews. I think that makes sense, but not if the expectations are the same as those for getting tenure, which can burn people out.

When I was a student, I can recall a really excellent teacher, one of the maybe three good teachers I had in college, that suddenly disappeared one semester. A lot of students complained, as we didn't understand how the college could let such a good teacher go. But now I understand. You can get fired for being a bad teacher, but you can't get tenured or promoted for being a good one. (Note "Student Evaluations" blog of 10/11/09, and especially the comments of EM) As it happens, "Publish or Perish" is not only alive and well, but is thriving under the moniker of "teacher/scholar."

Now don't misunderstand me, a college instructor absolutely has to be engaged with his/her discipline. My problem is the rigidity with which "traditionalists" adhere to that mantra, interpreting engagement as being published in "prestigious" journals, and often measured by an arbitrary and esoteric formula (Tier 1 journal? First author? X points for that....) PRJs (Peer Reviewed Journals) are the coin of the realm in academia, and since these count the most (sometimes they're all that counts), the game is all about figuring out how to get published in these journals that hardly anybody reads, and less still understand. In many cases, the overriding question piloting one's professional engagement is "Can this get published, and can I get credit for it?" not "Does this have value, is it interesting to me, does it make me a better teacher and scholar?" Thus you see the same drivel sliced up three different ways with a slightly different spin (maybe) to get 3 hits to pad the vita, or faculty agreeing to advising students on their theses and dissertations only if they can later receive a coauthor credit. Maybe I should expand on this in another entry, but the point is that tenure too often hinges on quantity rather than quality within rigidly defined parameters of engagement (i.e., a specific kind of scholarship, though creative projects, grants, etc., are "counted" in some fields), commonly established by those that never had to live up to such standards themselves.

And this is where the fun begins. At somewhere around the fifth year, a tenure-track assistant professor (and as schools try to cut costs with adjuncts there aren't as many of those, as apparently hiring a $50,000+ a year History professor- and I'm not making that number up, as liberal arts professors often start in that range- is cost prohibitive) submits a portfolio in application for tenure (typically in conjunction with promotion to associate professor). Some schools have college-wide tenure committees, others have committees internal to the department/area, but however constructed, a committee of one's peers will engage in serious review of the candidate's career to determine whether that career will continue at that institution. There are 3 questions that typically underlie the deliberations, though few will admit to it: 1) Is there anything about the candidate's teaching that is a serious problem? (Really really terrible instructor, sleeps with students, lawsuit waiting to happen, things like that) 2) Are the number and type of publications "over the bar?" (The interesting thing about this one is that often nobody really knows where "the bar" is.) and 3) Do the other faculty like him/her? (And this is usually a function of who happens to be on the committee, but this can only raise or lower the bar, not eliminate or infinitely elevate it.) If the candidate is passable as an instructor, has listed enough acceptable publications on his/her vita, and hasn't aggravated those faculty members on the committee (sometimes multiple committees), then that instructor is awarded a job for life, called tenure, which comes with no further performance obligations beyond adhering to the rules and not engaging in illegal or immoral activities.

And students wonder why so many of their instructors don't seem to have a passion for teaching.

*And by the way, it is no small irony that the system designed to protect academic freedom and encourage free thinking may in fact be limiting it, as the haves are often judging the have nots, typically with a bias of maintaining the status quo. That statement doubtlessly requires support, but I'm tenured, so I don't have to.

Consensus

2011-04-10T22:30:00.000-04:00

There's been a lot of attention given to bullying lately, and rightly so, as kids learn how wrong it is and what to do about it, and we all learn about the hazards of cyberbullying. But this is about bullying in the workplace.

Of course intimidation is a time-honored management style. I remember a teacher/football coach from high school who used to say, for instance, that "the only thing the primitive animal understands is pain," as we were apparently the primitive animals to which he referred. Delightful fellow. But it isn't just about preying on the weak for figurative lunch money anymore. I've seen a different type of workplace bullying, where apathy, self-interest, and fear are artfully corralled and manipulated. I call this "consensus bullying."

Here's how I've seen it work, with faculty, at least. An individual with a small amount of power creates or participates in the illusion that the group is to make a decision in a democratic manner. When the group meets, that individual strongly, even relentlessly, presses his/her case. There may be some others that agree or are convinced by the presentation, but most have reservations or disagree. Those others know that there is a price to pay for "speaking up." For the untenured members, the imagined price is risking one's career (tenure) by taking sides or potentially alienating anyone that might influence one's career. (This is an interesting aside, so I'll make the next entry about tenure games.) That's understandable. Cowardly, melodramatic, but understandable. For the tenured members, the price is the hassle. And this is the key. Where the typical bully, such as the instructor that loves to exert power over students (and we've all seen these pitiful, insecure instructors) calculates that the weak will not engage in the hassle because the conflict is likely to have negative repercussions for the loser, the consensus bully understands that it's not so much about the strength of the "opponent" as it is about the size of the hassle. Most people don't enjoy conflict (though faculty are famous for notable exceptions), and most of us have learned to "pick our battles." So in finding an issue that is important to the bully and not terribly important to the others, when the bully creates a high hassle potential situation, most others will simply let the bully have his/her way. At most, token resistance may be forwarded, then abandoned when it becomes apparent that it's not worth the hassle. And the thing is, most of the time a faculty member (or probably most people, really) will not think it's worth the hassle if it doesn't seem to affect him/her directly and significantly. For example, if there is a suggested change to a course/program, if it's not your course/program, you probably don't care that much and will just go with the flow, even if you disagree, when faced with the aggressive bully. But let me be clear, where faculty do have self-interest at stake and it's perceived to be a fair fight, faculty can mix it up with and beyond the best of them.

What often happens, then, is that the silent majority is uncaring or opposed, but unwilling to go through the hassle of fighting the battle that may be harmful or at least uncomfortable, so most people will just let it slide, say little or nothing, and vote yes. And then the bully is able to say that there was a democratically determined, even mandated, outcome, and move forward with the aegis of consensus. Yet the truth is that the bully got his/her way.

What have you done for me lately?

2011-04-03T20:19:00.005-04:00

Your distant past has little bearing on your immediate future. By that I mean that it is your most recent experience that is of interest to an employer, admissions officer, and almost everyone else. So if you are in college writing a resume for a potential employer or graduate school, don't write anything at all about high school. Everyone will know that you have a high school degree (from where no longer matters), and no one cares about any of your high school sports and activities. In general, it is only the last degree that matters. If you have a doctorate, it doesn't matter where you got your master's and undergraduate degrees. So basically, once you become an adult, you should probably stop talking about high school, and the older you are, the more true that is.

	"peaked in high school" [Urban Dictionary]
	(n./adj.) This phrase can be used to describe people that routinely bring up high school when they are well into their 30's, because they haven't had a single exciting or interesting experience since their senior year, and as such their lives and themselves are said to have, "peaked in high school." This term is often used when speaking disparagingly about an individual or group. This phrase can only be used appropriately after-the-fact (i.e. after individual/group leaves high school) to accurately gauge if (s)he qualifies for such status.

Pick-Up Artist

2011-03-27T23:30:00.010-04:00

So I'm just reading the Sunday paper and working away at the computer, with whatever game is on in the background, which is pretty much my typical Sunday afternoon if no one bothers me (in other words, pretty rare). I'm surrounded here by windows- I never counted them before, but there are exactly 100 of them in this room, 100 @11"x8" windows. I live on a corner, and all these windows look out on both streets, so I look out a lot, and occasionally see things.

Today's sight was innocuous but curious, as a young woman I hadn't seen before was walking a large dog I hadn't seen before. Fortunately, our dogs were snoozing. As one pup in particular also likes to look out the window, such a sight would doubtlessly incite some vigorous barking, as it does several times a day, but on this occasion I watched in peace as the big dog did what big dogs do on the lawn. This is mildly irritating when the owner doesn't clean up- some do, some don't- but unlike my wife, who has been known to chase offenders down the street, I really can't get excited about it. But in this instance, the lady who failed to clean up actually made me laugh. As she pulled out her bag and turned it inside out, I nodded to myself approvingly, only to see her bend over and wave her hand over the poop, only pretending to pick it up, and making quite a show of it. I've actually seen such behavior before, but never with such a flourish. And what made me laugh was not just the histrionics, but the notion that the act was premeditated. She actually took the trouble when leaving her house to pack a poop bag in order to have props for the performance. Most offenders just ignore the mess and go on their merry way, apparently oblivious to civility, or, more likely, simply expressing the darkness in their soul. But this woman knew that not cleaning up was wrong, anticipated that the situation would occur, but rather than do the right thing to avoid the social disapprobation of strangers, chose to pretend to do the right thing should strangers be watching.

It's an unlucky man that will marry her, but not more so than the poor baby around changing time. However, it seems unlikely that this insecure evildoer will have to worry about that.

Reach out and touch someone

2011-03-20T23:58:00.002-04:00

I'm getting tired of people "reaching out" to me. Where did this expression originate? I know it's a harmless phrase, and often used by kind and sensitive people, but it is too dramatic. What are you reaching out for? Do I need help? Do you need help? Are you engaging in an arduous or unusually magnanimous act for which I should be truly grateful? Because it just seemed like a business-related email to me.

The picture raises an interesting question: what is the worst boy band ever? Answer: all of them.

To Serve Man

2011-03-13T21:55:00.003-04:00

I never really got involved with video games because I knew I wouldn't rest until I found the princess (for those old enough to remember the original Mario games), and I don't have that kind of time. It's the same with Facebook, as I don't have time to relate the inane details of my inane life, nor do I have time to read the same about others. But there's something else about Facebook, even beyond the distaste for that company's founder (though not the concept's founder, apparently). It just seems like a Twilight Zone episode- or perhaps Southpark- or come to think of it a million shows and movies where some social phenomenon explodes onto the scene with epic popularity, all the while with some hidden and nefarious agenda. ( "Mr. Chambers, don't get on that ship! The rest of the book To Serve Man, it's... it's a cookbook!") It seems innocuous enough, and connecting people seems so noble a cause. But beyond the obvious criticisms around privacy (and they've been quite duplicitous in this area) and security- and with so many people in the world, there are just too many bad people being cyberbullies, stalkers, trollers, and aggressive marketers. But maybe this bad company will be obsolete soon, a victim of their own popularity. Now dominated by middle-aged women searching for long-ago boyfriends (and being disappointed with what they find) and then resigning themselves to posting pictures of their kids, the cool factor is definitely gone. You'll know Facebook is completely dead if MicroSoft acquires it.

Kickin'

2011-03-06T21:15:00.002-05:00

The sneaker industry and culture is pretty interesting, but I really don't care about sneakers, and won't go down the long and well-trodden road of sneaker commentary beyond stating unequivocally that I won't be spending crazy money so that the kids can try to impress other shallow kids. I really only need three pairs of sneakers, one for running, one for hanging around, and one for mowing the lawn and such. I probably have a couple of other pairs that I just haven't gotten around to throwing out yet, but how many pairs do you really need?

One thing though. I always thought those little loops at the back of sneakers were pretty girly, but as I get older and my feet get farther away they're starting to look a little better (and it probably won't be long before the looking will be through bifocals). What's next, using a shoe horn? Velcro straps instead of laces? Those god-awful Crocs? Might as well just start wearing a sweat suit and go to the mall.

baby beards

2011-02-27T23:35:00.001-05:00

Children give cover for men to play. Men are just boys in bigger bodies. Some people say that the toys just get bigger, but it's even simpler than that. We just like to play, and what greater joy than playing with your kid. Dads can be silly, dads can be fun, and dads can be themselves with their kids. This is just one of the many reasons being a dad is just the greatest.

Crocuses, umbrellas, and baseball

2011-02-20T23:20:00.002-05:00

Spring must be coming, as the truck has left for Florida

Trophies

2011-02-13T22:24:00.001-05:00

I have written about the worst day of the year, Valentine's Day, from the man's perspective before, noting that it is a holy day of obligation mandating romance, making it incredibly unromantic and distasteful. The only positive aspect is that there is at least the prospect of intimacy at its merciful conclusion, though that prospect wanes with the years together.

Of course, for those not involved, by choice or circumstance, it's a day where the world tries to make you feel abnormal and insignificant. Great "holiday." And while certainly not universally true, I have noticed that this relationship "status" is sometimes especially important for women, at least at Valentine's Day. I think the Hallmark people will back me up on this one. However, men are certainly guilty of relationship status displays too- note the "trophy wife" phenomenon, for example.

Valentine's Day seems to be mostly about showing off trophies. First and foremost, it is about showing everybody that you have a man. But given that, Valentine's Day is about showing everybody how successful you are in the game, as measured by the quantity and quality of gifts. Large mushy cards, large expensive killed flowers, large gemstones that may be publicly displayed, and large bills at expensive restaurants are all about demonstrating to the woman the man's devotion, so that she may have tangible evidence to show herself and others how successful she is in the game. Of course, once married the opportunities for public displays diminish, as does the man's willingness to play the game, so the man delivers the least acceptable trophies, and the woman is content, no longer needing to display the trophies, with the reduced tokens.

Wouldn't it be nice if Valentine's Day and all days were about love instead of the trophies?

College Websights

2011-02-06T22:17:00.001-05:00

A lot of times I go to college websites, and all I want to do is see a class schedule, and maybe how many seats are available in a section. Instead, I see mission statements, letters from presidents, and ways for how I can give money. The ones that should get it are the ones that don't get it.

cartoon by Randall Munroe

Life in the Left Lane

2011-01-30T21:41:00.001-05:00

I've lived in areas of the country where surface roads are newer and typically contain turning lanes, at least at intersections. But in older areas, there is typically just a couple of lanes in each direction separated only by a solid line or two. Since a lot of people have trouble finding that little rod on the left side of the steering column when making a turn (and even if they don't), traveling on these moderately to heavily trafficked* two laners involves a fair amount of mental calculus. The left lane usually goes faster, but what if someone in that lane has to make a left, in which case you lose, and have to wait for the left lane turn to be made or for the right lane traffic to go by to proceed around that left-laner. At best, the on-coming traffic is thin enough for a quick left causing only a mild delay. But if there are no turners, the left lane is a win.

When you're in the left lane you may see the left-laner ahead preparing to make the dreaded turn; do you dare try to merge back to the right? The static right merge, where merging from a standstill in the left lane into uncoming right lane traffic, is a hazardous maneuver requiring guile and judgment, as typically there is not a lot of space to the the car in front, and finding and integrating into the moving gap is perilous. A complication here is if there are cars in front or behind you who may also be contemplating the merge. But this pales in comparison to the dynamic right merge, which in addition to static merge concerns, involves driving toward stopped cars and has only a small window of opportunity to make the merge. This can be a bold and sometimes reckless move, as you need to keep an eye on the rapidly approaching car(s) ahead which have slowed or stopped while simultaneously gauging the speed of and gap between the upcoming right-laners. You must mentally define the position of the cars in front, calculate what their likely future position relative to yours will be over the next few seconds, and translate that to opportunity time, i.e., the time until you reach the "event horizon," where there is no longer a margin for stopping if you can't merge. If you have not committed to slowing/stopping by this time, you must merge or likely rearend the car in front of you. If you have calculated that the forward opportunity time to the event horizon is enough to consider the high risk/high reward of the moving merge, you then must quickly determine the probability that the dynamic merge can be successfully executed. This entails looking away from the upcoming slowed/stopped cars to the oncoming right-laners. If you look in the rear or side view mirror, you've bought a little extra time and may have some peripheral contact with the lane in front of you, but have reduced your field of vision and accuracy in gauging the upcoming right-laners. And remember, objects in your mirror may be closer than they appear. If you turn to look, you've got a better view and can make a more accurate read on the probabilities for merging, but have lost a fraction of a second as well as lost peripheral vision contact with the left-laners, thereby expanding your computational error term and opportunity for corrective action. But regardless of whether you are a mirror viewer or a turn viewer, the "event horizon" approaches rapidly and may require a split-second all-in or fold decision. Sometimes you're lucky and the dynamic right merge is a piece of cake, or sometimes there is simply no opportunity to attempt the right merge. But sometimes there is but a brief chance to make it back to the staid right lane, but it may require an act of courage if not an act of faith, be it gutsy or stupid.

And then there's the prospective left-laner who has crept over the divider to coerce the on-coming drivers to let him/her make the turn, which for them may or may not be an act of free-will. But in so doing, the left lane turn creeper has freed up some room in your lane. Is there enough to squeeze by, which will require usurping a slice of the right lane?

Sometimes you get in the left lane even if you have to make an up-coming right, figuring that one of the cars on the right will have to make a sooner right and open up a gap. Of course, you might see a "war-veteran" plate on a car ahead and figure that he'll be slow enough to open a gap, but what if there's a car ahead in the left lane who is thinking the same thing, in which case you'll need a two-gap or double opening to make your merge, never mind the left-turn risk. Or what if there is a car in the left lane not moving fast enough for you to reach the gap? It's a gamble.

Yes, you can live life in the right lane, where everything is slower, safer, and more predictable, but do you have what it takes for that wild ride in the left lane?

*Never being involved in the drug trade as supplier or consumer, I don't think I've ever written that word as a verb in the past tense. Why isn't the "c" doubled for the "ed?" Odd spelling, but so much in English is. It's reasonable, for instance, and this isn't an original thought, that "ghoti" could be the spelling of fish:

gh, pronounced /f/ as in tough /tʌf/;
o, pronounced /ɪ/ as in women /ˈwɪmɪn/; and
ti, pronounced /ʃ/ as in nation /ˈne͡ɪʃən/.

Alphonse and Gaston

2011-01-23T23:47:00.000-05:00

I let a lot of people trying to merge into traffic cut in front of me, but have developed some rules for doing so. First and foremost, if the driver is on the phone or texting (or really doing anything other than driving), s/he isn't getting in. If the driver has tried to force his/her way into the lane by inching forward so that half the car is sticking out into the road, I'm probably going to try to keep the bully in (unless there's a real risk of an accident- it's OK to make a point, but don't be stupid about it). If the driver is not paying attention as I slow and stop, I won't wait forever- sorry, you missed your chance. If the driver just got to the corner, sorry, you haven't done your time yet and earned the break. If there's a passenger begging to let them in, that's a judgment call. The same applies to the driver who has rolled down their window* and asks to be let it in. You have to judge the sincerity and necessity of the plea. Clueless driver, made a mistake, really in a hurry, I'll probably let that person in; pretty girl just trying to manipulate me, expensive car driver used to getting their way, bad aura, they'll probably wait. Tough call, though.

If there's a traffic light ahead, that's a factor. If it's red, the odds are greater that I'll let the car in, as it isn't going to cost me any time. If it's been a long green and I'm in a hurry (and isn't everybody), then probably not. I can't tell you how many times I've let someone in only to have them get through on the yellow and I catch the red. And if I've just let in a couple of people over the past few blocks, then it's somebody else's turn to be nice, as I'm starting to feel like a patsy if I'm the only one letting people in.

There are definitely some drivers I'm predisposed to let in. A parent with children in the car (I know what's that's like), big rig truck drivers, old ladies (that's somebody's granny), and anybody with a good vibe gets priority. And anybody who looks like they've been sitting there a while and looks reasonably normal is somebody I'd like to help.

But here's the thing, and I remember seeing this on a Seinfeld episode so I know a lot of people feel this way. Isn't it aggravating when you let somebody in and you don't get the wave, the nod, the smile--- nothing! Now I know that the joy is supposed to be in the giving, but darn it, I want that wave, and feel like a chump if I don't get it, as though I've just let a bad person get over on me. But I have noticed that if I let somebody in, the odds seem higher that that person will also let somebody in.

*For the younger readers, the expression "roll down your window" comes from the olden days when people actually had to manually crank down their car windows.

Kookies

2011-01-16T20:31:00.033-05:00

There was a plate of cookies, and I took a couple two/tree, but then I rearranged the cookies to make it look like there was still the original amount there. Why? Is it about the aesthetic appeal of the plate, or that I don't the family members (or me) to think I'm a cookie-hoggin' slob? Probably some of both. Bit it's not like sneaking liquor then putting in water to get to the original level (or is it?). It's not like I didn't leave plenty of cookies for others. It's not like I can't or shouldn't have them. So why the subterfuge? What an odd thing to do... I'm going right back to that plate and put them back to where they were- and maybe have a couple more cookies as long as I'm there... ^_^

And as long as we're on cookies, one of my favorite subjects, I heard recently that Sesame Street some time ago transformed the Cookie Monster to a Cookies-in-Moderation Monster, and that he now eats fruits and vegetables. What is wrong with these people? Kids know that you can't eat only cookies- that's what makes him funny; a driving passion for cookies and only cookies. For God's sake, Lighten up! It's a puppet.

"Dancing in the desert blowing up the sunshine."

2011-01-09T23:35:00.000-05:00

I was in San Diego for the holidays, and having lived there for nine years and visited several times since, there really isn't a lot new to see. What was different this time was spending a couple of days in the desert. I've been to the desert, both the high desert and low desert, a few times, just touring, hiking, or passing through. But this was more of a recreation area, a valley dedicated to bikes and buggies and other toys. I enjoyed walking across the valley and into the mountains- not as dramatic or as far as it sounds- but it was a few hours alone with the sand and the wind, and nobody around for a nice little peaceful adventure. Used to do that a lot with a dog I once had, but not too much anymore. But as I was at the top of the mountain overlooking the valley, Mexico off in the distance on one side, the Salton sea on the other, with El Centro and Arizona beyond the military base and state prison, I couldn't help thinking why would people despoil an entire valley just so that they could play? In two days I don't think I saw a single non-human creature beyond a few stink bugs. The clearest night sky I'd seen in many years, phenomenal wind at times, and an almost lunar landscape, but just a big sandbox to the hedonists.

When I grew up in New England there was an area in Boston known as the "Combat Zone." The thinking at the time was that it was worth sacrificing a couple of blocks for strip clubs and seedy bars to allow and contain those things that decent people didn't want to see in their neighborhoods or by their businesses. That recreation area was like the Combat Zone of the desert, sacrificing miles of natural beauty to protect the rest of the local environment, I guess. I suppose it's smart, but also sad. The desert was not only in the land.

Chimps on Stage

2010-12-19T23:09:00.001-05:00

We sometimes get calls from local TV stations (or other media/organizations) to provide expert commentary/presentations, usually with very little preparation time, sometimes just minutes. We generally don't like to do these interviews because as academics (a relative term), we like to be well prepared, we want to communicate information of value, and to be honest, a lot of us don't love cameras, and cameras don't love a lot of us. Also, our vocation demands specialization for professional survival, so while the general population assumes that if you have a doctorate in a field that you are an expert in all things related to that field, the truth is that at best we know a lot about a little, and a little about a lot. And rarely is anyone interested in the little about which we know something.

So our Communications Director gives me a call to see if I can find an economist. As usual, there aren't any to be found, and they hate doing this stuff anyway. I don't like doing it either, but sometimes you have to hold your nose and do what's good for the school. This was one of those times, and as the topic wasn't a particularly difficult one for me, I could pretend to be an economist for a little while if I had to be.

I literally had 6 minutes to prepare before meeting with the reporter and cameraman, but I managed to dig up some pretty interesting stats and excellent explanatory information, which I was able to communicate reasonable effectively in the 5 minute interview. I know they're just going to take a cut or two for the story, and just hope they'll use some of the good stuff. The report was on three or four of their newscasts, but I didn't catch any of them, so I looked up the report online. Sure enough, they chose the most simple-minded, vanilla pap that was introductory to the interesting and informative material. I understand the media's point of view, keep it simple, keep it fast, but I really think they underestimate and shortchange the audience, and we're often embarrassed but our simean-like portrayals as "experts." A baboon could do what they're looking for. So if the call comes in shortly for an expert analysis of retail sales for the holidays, I'm not going to be the guy that says, "The malls are really crowded as people look for last-minute bargains."

Never fails

2010-12-12T23:07:00.000-05:00

Bird-dropping, crack, wiper streak.

Name three things that always appear at eye level on the driver's side windshield.

Those were the days, my friends, I thought they'd never end

2010-12-05T23:29:00.005-05:00

Last night (Saturday), as I was walking the dogs at around 1:30 a.m. (What else do I have to do? I'm married...), I came across a bra on the curb. So naturally I picked it up. Yeah, kind of creepy, but it told a story, a story that seemed so long ago. It was a very nice Victoria's Secret bra, the type a young woman spends a fair amount of money on because it is to be seen. The location on the front curb told me that she had been dropped off, so she was a younger woman living at home with her folks, whose car was parked in the driveway. This was the Saturday night date with the boyfriend, and there was a multiple base hit involved. She had gathered her belongings in her arms, including an undergarment or two (which tells a story in itself), and was intent on just slipping in the door unnoticed at the late hour. I don't mean to be salacious, but this really took me back to another time. Now I'm walking the dogs hours after my wife has gone to bed. When did that happen? (Actually, it's about a year after you're married- your results may vary.)

I actually contemplated hanging the bra on the antenna of the car in the driveway. Wouldn't dad get a chuckle out of that. But while that does seem a little funny, it is mean. So I left the garment exactly where I'd found it to give the girl a fighting chance to find it before a family member did.

And one last thought on bras, about which I am not allowed to have many thoughts. In the eternal debate as to whether it's OK to have visible bra straps, the correct answer is No. Never. Unless you are on your fifth margarita and "trolling," or have been run over by a truck, this is just utterly classless and looks bad. And that was the case when I was a young man, too.

Self-help

2010-11-28T22:07:00.001-05:00

Being a little kid is like being on a quiz show. All day long people are asking you what things mean, if you can do things, and a million other tests of knowledge and skill. It gets better as we get older, but not much. At least for you in college, those tests are compartmentalized into identifiable evaluative instruments. And then you get the sheepskin, and finally you can start asking the questions. Or so I thought.

Now Al Bundy (married with children), I find myself peppered with questions and tasks all day long. "Dad/Honey, what does this mean? Can you fix this? How does this work?" etc. I purposely avoided playing video/computer games in my youth, as I knew I would never rest until I found the princess (an old Mario reference, though Mario has made a comeback so maybe even the youngsters know it), but now I am expected to know everything from setup to game play for every system and every game. I didn't pay as much attention to my dad as I should have when he showed me how to do stuff, but now I am expected to fix every invention since the industrial revolution. I chose a Mac computer in the 1980s since I didn't want to learn DOS and technical computer stuff, but now I'm supposed to be the computer geek. And the list goes on. And on.

These family members (and sometimes coworkers, friends, etc.), don't seem to realize that most of us know only what we know, and we only know that with which we have experience. So if your computer questions involve fantasy sports, PowerPoint presentations, or bad college administration systems, maybe I can help. But the odds are I not only don't know the answer, I probably don't even fully understand the question. So to try to answer your question I'm going to have to stumble around and learn something new or more likely just get lucky and click something that works (if I don't make it worse or break it). Even when I tell you that I don't know how, you still expect me to do it. So why is it that you impose upon others instead of imposing upon yourself?

Pet Peeve

2010-11-21T22:41:00.002-05:00

There are some good pet names out there, but often people don't seem to put a lot of effort into naming pets. Sometimes it's due to letting the kids name the pet, in which case you'd expect to get a simple "Snowball" or "Fluffy" or the like. But a lot of times it's just choosing something fast and easy. Out of curiosity I looked up the most popular pet names in the U.S. (they must be accurate, as they come from bowwow.com):

1. Max 6. Smokey 11. Molly 16. Patch

2. Tigger 7. Maggie 12. Bailey 17. Lady

3. Jake 8. Bear 13. Sassy 18. Lucky

4. Tiger 9. Sam 14. Shadow 19. Sadie

5. Buddy 10. Kitty 15. Simba 20. Misty

Now I know that since these are the most popular names, you wouldn't expect to see the imaginative and uncommon ones on the list. Yet the point remains that not a lot of time goes into the selection of pet names. Of course, giving a lot of time to the task does not insure good names- witness people with names like Colin and Fanny- but at least take some time to see the personality of the animal. There are even pet name books now for the truly uninspired. Sometimes pets are obtained in pairs and get "couple" names, like Rocky's fish Cuff and Link. Those can be cute, as long as they're not overly intellectual or trendy. One thing, though. If a child ever brings home an animal, don't let him/her name it. As soon as it has a name, it's yours.

IT- Infinitely Troublesome

2010-11-14T23:23:00.000-05:00

It's a common criticism that programmers have little idea of user needs. Here's another one from work recently. We've now been subjected to automated submission and approval of time reports. That in itself seems like a good idea, except that no one can figure out how to report their time, there are no instructions on how to do so, and no way to check if it is accurate.

Training sessions for most computer learning tend to be adult versions of Simon Says, where the trainer clicks things and the trainees try to keep up with clicking the same things to produce the same images, not really having time to process this seen-for-the-first-time information but presenting the appearance of learning since the same screens show. Should anything actually be learned, it will certainly be forgotten by the time the software actually has to be used. Of course, you might get a 20 page handout of instructions and screen shots, and it's possible that the answer you seek a month after the training session might actually be in there somewhere. Equally likely, though, is that the system will have changed by then.

My particular favorite aspect of this "intuitive" time reporting system is that instead of coding for time worked, it codes for time missed. However, days you are expected to miss, such as holidays, are not coded as time missed, though holidays are not labeled on the time sheet, which of course arrives electronically a couple of weeks afterward so who remembers. Other time missed must be coded using Druidian symbols, or so they appear. But if no missable time is missed, then a zero is placed in the Saturday column (no instructions for that- it can only be known through a revelation from God). Still, we get through it, and when on the approving side, typically approve whatever is submitted since there is no way to check anyway, as everything is self-reported so the accountability system has no accountability in the first place.

Also, the programmers have a new time reporting time saver now. To request time off, there is a new software module, but to make things more interesting it is not placed in the time reporting section and requires a lottery ticket to find. After jumping through all the hoops the request is submitted, which then generates an email to the approver. This system takes the place of the requester sending an email to the approver. It's kind of like using the calculator function on a computer. It's progress.

Central Falls...Slowly I turn...

2010-11-07T22:09:00.002-05:00

Falling behind on posts, so here's one that's not mine. This is from Bill Maher's show about the firing of every teacher at Central Falls High School in Rhode Island due to low test scores. It's an old story, but interesting.

"New Rule: Let’s Not Fire the Teachers When Students Don’t Learn — Let’s Fire the Parents
-Bill Maher

New Rule: Let’s not fire the teachers when students don’t learn – let’s fire the parents. Last week President Obama defended the firing of every single teacher in a struggling high school in a poor Rhode Island neighborhood. And the kids were outraged. They said, “Why blame our teachers?” and “Who’s President Obama?” I think it was Whitney Houston who said, “I believe that children are our future – teach them well and let them lead the way.” And that’s the last sound piece of educational advice this country has gotten – from a crack head in the ’80’s.

Yes, America has found its new boogeyman to blame for our crumbling educational system. It’s just too easy to blame the teachers, what with their cushy teachers’ lounges, their fat-cat salaries, and their absolute authority in deciding who gets a hall pass. We all remember high school – canning the entire faculty is a nationwide revenge fantasy. Take that, Mrs. Crabtree! And guess what? We’re chewing gum and no, we didn’t bring enough for everybody.

But isn’t it convenient that once again it turns out that the problem isn’t us, and the fix is something that doesn’t require us to change our behavior or spend any money. It’s so simple: Fire the bad teachers, hire good ones from some undisclosed location, and hey, while we’re at it let’s cut taxes more. It’s the kind of comprehensive educational solution that could only come from a completely ignorant people.

Firing all the teachers may feel good – we’re Americans, kicking people when they’re down is what we do – but it’s not really their fault. Now, undeniably, there are some bad teachers out there. They don’t know the material, they don’t make things interesting, they have sex with the same kid every day instead of spreading the love around… But every school has crappy teachers. Yale has crappy teachers – they must, they gave us George Bush.

According to all the studies, it doesn’t matter what teachers do. Although everyone appreciates foreplay. What matters is what parents do. The number one predictor of a child’s academic success is parental involvement. It doesn’t even matter if your kid goes to private or public school. So save the twenty grand a year and treat yourself to a nice vacation away from the little bastards.

It’s also been proven that just having books in the house makes a huge difference in a child’s development. If your home is adorned with nothing but Hummel dolls, DVD’s, and bleeding Jesuses, congratulations, you’ve just given your children the gift of Duh. Sarah Palin said recently she wrote on her hand because her father used to do it. I rest my case.

When there are no books in the house, and there are no parents in the house, you know who raises the kids? That’s right, the television. Kids aren’t keeping up with their studies; they’re keeping up with the Kardashians. We’re allowing the television, as babysitter, to turn us into a nation of slutty idiots. By the way, one sign your 9-year-old may be watching too much One Tree Hill: if she has an imaginary friend with benefits."

Happy Halloween

2010-10-31T23:55:00.006-04:00

Another Halloween, but not much to say this year as I've already written about it a couple of times. But as I see the costumes this year (Does anybody make their own costume anymore?), it makes me think about the costumes I wear almost every day, as do many people.

Each night/morning I take a gander at the emails before I start getting ready for work. I answer the important ones and leave the others for when I get into work, but I also look at my calendar to see what appointments I have. This tells me what I should wear to work. Yes, I look out the window to see the weather, try and guess how broken the HVAC system will be in the office, but really focus on whom I'm likely to see that day. Perhaps oddly, other than no meetings, which rarely happens, the lowest fashion priority is for meeting with faculty. Business faculty, with the exception of economists, of course, are pretty good dressers compared to the rest of the college, but that is a pretty low bar, as college faculty are not exactly known for being fashion forward. The Arts and Sciences (a cheap sports coat with jeans is "formal") and Social Work (hush puppies and peasant dresses) faculty are probably the worst, with education (clothes older than the students) not far behind. Professional schools do a little better, usually coming in around "bargain-bin business casual," more or less. Of course I'm exaggerating in the vain attempt to be mildly amusing, but in general faculty do tend to live up, or perhaps more accurately live down, to our refugee-fashion stereotypes.

There is a lot of difference of opinion about the importance and meaning of wardrobe for faculty, but most professors do give it some thought. For example, many professors try to connote images about the course and themselves to students through dress. Those desired images might be, "I'm approachable," "I'm serious about this class/my job," or any number of "non-verbal messages." Students unquestionably respond to these cues.

Faculty also react to their "corporate climate" in using their colleagues as reference points. You usually don't see a faculty member wearing torn jeans, a tee shirt, and flip-flops (unless it's the old guy with long, gray hair and the Grateful Dead shirt) if everyone else is in suits, and vice-versa. While there is a lot of conformity, there are those who delight in non-conformity. Just as so many artists try way too hard to project an image of the "artiste," so too do many academics work at cultivating the image of the iconoclast. Of course, academia does tend to be a haven for some rather odd ducks anyway.

Faculty dress for success doesn't work in the usual dress-for-the-job-you-want-to-have manner. In business, the farther up the hierarchy, the better the dress, but in academia, the higher the faculty rank, the poorer the dress. In other words, it depends on what side of the Great Divide (tenure) one is on. In working towards tenure, dress like everyone else, or maybe a touch above, but with tenure, do what you want. Adjuncts (the great unwashed) just want to keep their abusive jobs (or sometimes suffer from the delusion that they may be hired full-time, which is, sadly, usually just a pipe-dream if you don't have a doctorate), and ironically typically are the best dressers. Perhaps this is simply because they're coming from work at real jobs, or more simply aren't members of the nerd class that so many of us faculty members are.

Oh look, three meetings tomorrow. Better wear an ill-fitting suit.

Hugs

2010-10-24T19:52:00.008-04:00

There's not enough good huggin' happening, which is kind of surprising since there's so much hugging going on. Even more surprising is that it's the between-gender hugging that's the problem. Women hug each other with no self-consciousness whatsoever and everything seems natural and fine. Men hug each other with total self-consciousness and are perfectly fine with the awkward cross-armed back slap, secure in the knowledge that awkward is perfectly fine, if not desirable, between men. But it's the between-gender hug that is the problem.

A hug has three major components: tightness, duration, and location, which are constrained by the perceived relationship between huggers, the situation, and the attitudes towards hugging. As this is just a blog and the topic one in which interest may wane in proportion with length, though capable of lengthy treatise, the treatment will be mercifully brief.

Tightness is generally not a problem, as most people can gauge the degree of mutual affection relatively accurately, the exception being the young, flirtatious, or lecherous. Duration is only slightly more problematic and occurs when there is an imbalanced assessment of the closeness of the relationship, a lack of understanding of the social situation, or differing attitudes about hugging in general. However, it is the hug type that is the real problem.

So while most can successfully navigate the appropriate grasp and duration of a hug, are aware of the social situation, and share similar perceptions about the relationship and attitudes about hugging, the most difficult dynamics may the for the hugs exchanged between the genders. I don't think that most people have trouble with relatives, as we've been hugging parents and siblings for most of our lives and pretty much have it down. It's hugging friends and those that are more than friends that's the problem for many. One of the most difficult hugs is the spouse/significant other of a friend, or the friendly-but-not-too-friendly situation. Maybe there is some jealousy potential, but it's really a matter of balancing the respect for the friend and his/her relationship while showing welcoming, acceptance, and platonic affection for the spouse, and vice-versa if you're the spouse. But like a first kiss when dating, once you've done it, it becomes easy and comfortable. Like most situational hugs, they are learning experiences and quickly solved, if not mastered. But what about those who just don't know how to hug appropriately?

The tendency is to think of "overhuggers" (too much grasping) as the prime offenders, which is probably true, but there are a lot of "underhuggers" (backsides pushed too far back requiring too much lean in) out there as well. To understand each of those, we have to understand the proper hug between the genders. Of course, an improper hug is any hug that communicates something other than what is intended or appropriate, with the closeness (location) of the hug the primary offender. In general, the closer the relationship, the closer the hug, situation permitting. This refers primarily to the southernmost point of contact as well as arm/hand positions. For friends and spouses of friends, shoulders are fine, with elbows at the sides, and hands up high towards the back and sides of shoulders, with perhaps a one-armed light pat across the back. For close friends and relatives, chests may touch lightly, with hands meeting or patting at the middle or upper back. For spouses and significant others, navels may touch, chests touch more tightly, and arms may wrap around with hands as low as the waist, with some pulling towards each other. It is not appropriate in public to press pelvises together or have hands below the waist.

As an aside, there are some promiscuous huggers out there, who will hug people they barely know. I guess if they meet another serial hugger it's OK, but for the rest of us, hands off- you've got to earn that hug.

Simon Says

2010-10-17T22:43:00.004-04:00

Training sessions for most computer learning tend to be adult versions of Simon Says, where the trainer clicks things and the trainees try to copy the clicking so that the same images appear on their screens, not really having much appreciation for how the images appeared. Should anything actually be learned, it will certainly be forgotten by the time the software actually has to be used. Of course, you might get a 20 page handout of instructions and screen shots, and it's possible that the answer you seek a month after the training session might actually be in there somewhere. Equally likely, though, is that the system will have changed by then.

User-Unfriendly

2010-10-10T22:27:00.002-04:00

Who was the genius who put the save button next to the undo button?

Ore-nos

2010-10-03T23:02:00.002-04:00

Golden Chocolate Creme Oreos. A bad idea. I can understand trying to squeeze out a little more market share at the fringes, and can tolerate coloring the filling for Halloween, Christmas, etc. But those things that don't taste or look like Oreos shouldn't be called Oreos.

Attention please

2010-09-26T23:55:00.014-04:00

I have the attention span of a gnat. It used to be that I'd finish the page then devote my attention to the distraction. As I got older, it was finish the paragraph, then then sentence. Now, I've actually caught myself when writing stopping in the middle of a letter. I like bright, shiny objects.

There have been many times where I've forgotten about something that was "in process." Usually this results in turning off a smoke alarm and throwing out a pan. But a couple of nights ago, the fire department was involved.

It's not what you think, though. Before I went out running, I decided to drain the boiler. As I was refilling it to the proper level, which takes all of 30 seconds or so, I figured I'd be efficient with my time and "organize" (get out of the way) some of the voluminous [insert word of choice] that my wife had piled into the room. Getting that fencing to the side took maybe 20 seconds, but it was enough to make me forget that I hadn't shut the intake valve. So off I went to run.

When I returned about 30 or 40 minutes later I was greeted by a really unhappy wife. Now this by itself isn't particularly unusual, and in such situations it's a lot like a take-off on a Gary Larson cartoon, i.e., "What husbands hear," which of course is not much of anything. However, in this instance the words "flood" and "911" did manage to burrow into my skull. Immediately I realized what I'd done and slogged through a bit of water to shut off the valve. Though I've shown my wife the mysteries of the red and yellow valves several times, they remain mysteries to her, but I certainly cannot blame her for not knowing what to do. It was obviously all my fault. Calling the fire department for perhaps an inch of water within a 15 foot radius may be another matter.

Anyway, the firetrucks arrived before we could call and say "Nevermind." I sheepishly explained my stupidity, that the water wasn't bad and I could take care of it, and apologized profusely. I hope I won't be billed for wasting taxpayer money.

You'd think that other than the merciless and incessant criticism that I'd be treated to for the foreseeable future, and a few late night hours of cleanup, that this would be the end of it, other than an insipid blog entry. But wait, there's more.

After I cleaned up the mess, all I had left to do was empty the excess water out of the boiler and fire it up. Only it took what seemed a long time to empty enough water out to get to the proper level in the gauge, and then the boiler did not start. I couldn't imagine what could have happened, as these things are built for just such stupidity, but figured maybe all the water spouting and dripping had shorted the ignition mechanism. In truth, I had no idea why it wouldn't fire, but knew it was going to cost more money and criticism.

The boiler guy came over the next night at 10 p.m. (I'm sure rates are discounted at that time) only to take out a screw driver, remove a valve handle and stem (at least he used a wrench for that), and after a total of about a minute tell me that the gauge handle was stuck so that the gauge glass showed water while I had continued to empty the boiler. He put more water in and it fired right up. The good news- there's nothing wrong with the boiler. The bad news- if I just knew the gauge was stuck (or, more accurately, had a clue about anything) I could have saved myself some cash and aggravation.

I am the dumbest man on the planet, but at least I've learned that once you dismiss the concept of pride, things get a lot easier.

Virtue is its own reward

2010-09-19T21:49:00.013-04:00

Does anybody else think that we give too much tribute to those who have done bad things and repented and too little to those who have never done those bad things?

Third time's a charm

2010-09-12T22:00:00.004-04:00

Many fashions are cyclic, and I've heard that if you live long enough, you'll see the same fad 3 times. That's one more reason to hate paisley.

Relatedly, I find that we are just about out of paprika, which I believe I purchased about 25 years ago. I hope I live long enough to buy paprika again.

P.S.: As I was looking for an image of paprika, and doesn't everybody, I noticed something called "paprika anime." What the heck is that? I know that anime is some sort of Japanese animation that has characters with big eyes, and that it is unlikely that I'll like it (although I didn't hate the Pokemon phase as much as some others that the kids have gone through). But I don't know much about it, and come to think of it, I really don't even know what paprika is. Probably some sort of pepper, but outside of tuna salad/casserole and stuffed celery, I don't know what you'd use it for. I don't know much of anything.

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign

2010-09-05T21:39:00.002-04:00

It's amazing how many dumb signs are out there. For instance, the "Don't touch," and "You break it, you buy it" signs at retailers are geared to influence the behavior of people that can't read, i.e., little kids. Anyway, we've all seen a million dumb signs. Here are a few more.

No white hats

2010-08-29T23:08:00.034-04:00

I've thought for some time that the increasingly common practice of walking away from one's mortgage is a shameless, selfish, and immoral action, motivated solely by self-interest and utterly devoid of honor. While I still believe that this is true in that it is wrong to break one's word, I've come to think that there is another side to the contract. I'm not referring to the trite perspective that lenders should not lend to those less likely to be able to afford to pay back the loan. It is obvious that mortgage lenders generally are greedy and motivated by profit and little else, but that does not absolve anyone from taking out a mortgage they cannot afford. But while the mortgagee has the moral obligation to pay back the loan in full in a timely fashion, the contract itself does have the provision that the mortgagee makes the payments or surrenders the property. Some might argue, then, that there is an implied choice to pay or default, particularly since the lender makes every attempt to insure that in the case of default the value of the property exceeds the principle of the loan (though in many instances that hasn't been the case in the recent real estate market). While it is occasionally true that a default, foreclosure, or bankruptcy is not the fault of the borrower (e.g., sickness, accident, job loss), it is often the result of greed and irresponsibility. But on the other side it is hard to sympathize with creditors that are also greedy and irresponsible. There usually aren't any good guys in these situations.

Internships

2010-08-22T22:09:00.000-04:00

I'd like to talk to you briefly about one of the deadly sins. I am from a generation that lived in a dark time. When I entered my senior year, the world had been ravaged by a deadly scourge manifested by mechanical bulls, Saturday night fevers, and shaking booties, a culture laid to waste by the evils of disco. It was the year that Elvis died, the year that the Ebola virus emerged, and the year that Microsoft became incorporated, among other tragedies. And worst of all in my senior year, there were no internships. But now, despite a flagging economy and swine flu, you live in a bright time. Boogie fever is dead, Fidel is gone, and the land is now filled with iPhones, Nickelback, and double-stuffed Oreos. And best of all in your senior year, there are internships.

Now many of you have labored in your six years of college in pursuit of the almighty GPA under the misconception that the purpose of your education is to get a job. However, we are not a vocational school, and it turns out that the purpose of your education is to become educated, which means to learn the knowledge and skills to help you in the many facets of your life. One of those critical areas is success in your career, but all your degree and GPA can do is help to get you in the right pile of resumes for an interview. At that interview you will likely be confronted by one of life’s most pernicious paradoxes: you need experience to get a job, but you need a job to get experience. And therein lies the rub.

Enter the shining light of internships. An internship is the opportunity to get experience now. An internship is the opportunity to learn what you like, and importantly what you don’t like, about a career field. An internship is the opportunity to create a differential advantage for the brand that is you.

Now is the time to manage your life, to stop finding reasons why you can’t and start finding reasons why you can. I once had a roommate who was one course away from a degree in economics and quit school to become a bellhop. Perhaps the siren call of toting luggage was overpowering, but more likely he didn’t know what to do about his future. All of us reach that cross-road, frightened of what the Fates hold in store for us. But you have the opportunity to see into the future and control your destiny through this thing called internship.

And at last we arrive at the moral of the story. The deadly sin of which I have been speaking is not sloth or greed, it is envy. I envy you the opportunity the lies before you. How I wish that there were internships back in the dark days of the plague that was disco. Without exaggeration, an internship is the single most powerful career-impacting life-managing destiny-changing action that you can take as you approach the cross-roads. Yes you can, and I envy you.

Bo didn't make a peep

2010-08-15T22:43:00.010-04:00

Referring to an incident at a Houston Astros game at which a young man named Bo got out of the way of a foul ball and let his girlfriend get hit.

“As soon as we got here and I saw where we were sitting, I said ‘Baby, I’m going to get hit,” Sarah said. “He said, ‘No, you won’t. I’ll catch it if you do.’ We just had this conversation and sure enough, the ball comes at me. He just bailed.” Bo doesn't know baseball and Bo doesn't know chivalry; now Bo alone. Go figure.

Keep back!

2010-08-08T21:35:00.002-04:00

What is it with these emergency vehicles with signs on the back stating "Keep back 500 ft.?" By the time I get close enough to read that, I'm way closer than 500', and with people behind me, I won't be able to back up. And do these folks realize just how far 500 feet is? That's a city block, almost two football fields! Can barely see the truck from there. Why do they need all that separation anyway? Like 400 feet isn't enough space?

Tuition insurance

2010-08-01T21:50:00.001-04:00

Heard a radio ad for a product that provides tuition insurance. Paying the premium provides coverage for tuition for students who withdraw from their college courses. That is, if a student drops out, the insurance plan will reimburse the student's tuition. This might seem like flight or cruise insurance, but in those instances, one is guarding against an unforeseeable circumstance in the relatively distant future that inhibits intended action and for which little recourse exists to recapture the early prepayment. For tuition, the payment typically is made just before the semester, and there are opportunities to recapture payment in that withdrawals are refunded on a prorated basis. Also, leaves of absence and incompletes may be issued.

So while schools will refund some or all of the tuition anyway, making this a largely unneeded and unwarranted expenditure, the interesting issue is the insuring against the unforeseen circumstance. There are certainly a lot of "legitimate" (sickness, etc.) withdrawals, but the majority are made by students trying to avoid a bad grade. Many years ago we used to see a lot of students towards the end of the term show up in our offices looking for extra credit or breaks of various kinds to suddenly and miraculously improve their grade, replete with dire tales of what would happen if they received a poor grade. There is still some of that, but these days it is more typical for students to look for assurance that they can simply withdraw without penalty and in essence wipe the slate clean, except for the money they or their parents have flushed away.

In any case, the tuition insurance, to put it kindly, is usually a very poor investment.

Fan-atics

2010-07-25T23:10:00.001-04:00

If you're old enough to drive, you're too old to take a glove to the ballpark. And while we're at it, what's with the jersey of a current or former player? (I won't even address the face painters- how empty must their lives be?) Just wear the cap and leave it at that.

Hang in there, but not by the neck

2010-07-18T23:45:00.000-04:00

Why are there so many clothes hangers that come to a dull point at the end, and why do I own these hangers? All clothes hangers should have rounded, non-snaggable ends. Sometimes you drape a clothing item or two over the dowel from which the hangers hang (hence the name). When it's that item's turn to be put on, you pick it up off the hanger bar, but often it will get caught on a hanger end or two. Not the end of the world, but bad news for that sweater.

Most truthful t-shirt ever

2010-07-11T23:34:00.000-04:00

No kidding.

Couch Surfing

2010-07-05T23:37:00.004-04:00

The title is not the usual pitiful and futile attempt at a mildly clever caption, but a phenomenon about which I've just learned. "Couch surfing" apparently refers to the practice of staying at the homes of strangers for short periods of time for free, kind of like micro-hostels.

From Wikipedia: "CouchSurfing (sofa surfing in the UK) is a neologism referring to the practice of moving from one friend's house to another, sleeping in whatever spare space is available, floor or couch, generally staying a few days before moving on to the next house. The term couchsurfing was adopted by The CouchSurfing Project in 1999 for what is now the world's largest hospitality exchange network. With over 2 million members in 237 countries and territories,CouchSurfing is the most visited hospitality service on the Internet, averaging around 40 million daily page views July-December 2009. After free registration, members have the option of providing very detailed information and pictures of themselves and of the sleeping accommodation they offer, if any. More information provided by a member, and other members, improves the chances that someone will find the member trustworthy enough to be their host or guest. Security is often measured in the reference established by networking. Volunteers may verify names and addresses. Members looking for accommodation can search for hosts using several parameters such as age, location, gender and activity level. Homestays are entirely consensual between the host and guest, and the duration, nature, and terms of the guest's stay are generally worked out in advance to the convenience of both parties. No monetary exchange takes place except for compensation of incurred expenses (e.g. food). After using the service, members can leave a noticeable reference about their host or guest. Instead of or in addition to accommodation, members also offer to provide guide services or travel-related advice. CouchSurfing provides editable travel guides and forums where members may seek travel partners or advice. CouchSurfing's main focus is "social networking" and members organize activities such as camping trips, bar crawls, meetings, and sporting events."

I must be getting old, as I'm pretty sure that as a parent I wouldn't be too crazy about our kids (when they get older) doing this type of hitchhiking.

Lube job

2010-06-27T23:01:00.017-04:00

I finally got tired of seeing that check engine light on the dashboard- it had been there for months- and decided to carve out some time to get an oil change. It's not so much that I'm lazy and irresponsible, though that's certainly part of the equation, but who has time for life? Once a man marries, it's work, family, chores, and precious little else. The lucky ones get to play golf. So finding an hour for an oil change, a dentist appointment, and anything else that's not just a few minutes on the way to or from work is a hassle.

It seems so long ago since we changed our own oil. Who would do that now? For less than $30 someone else buys the oil, gets dirty, and disposes of the old stuff, and does so relatively quickly. Of course, I can remember owning a car for which I never changed the oil, and I mean didn't change the oil for 216,000 miles. I'd put in two or three quarts when the warning light had been on long enough, but I'm closer to an adult now. So it was off to Jiffy Lube on my way into work.

There were a few older folks ahead of me and seated in the "lounge," so this wasn't going to be quite the jiffy for which I'd been hoping. They were grousing about illegal immigrants as only older folks can, but at least one older lady gave me a coupon for $12 off (older ladies have all the best coupons), which trumped my $5.00 coupon. That put me well below my $30 target, the most that I'll pay for an oil change. I prefer to be in the $20 range, but can justify the added expense at Jiffy for the no-appointment convenience and much needed vacuum, etc. The better coupon put me closer to $20, so I was feeling fat and happy. But then I saw each of the old folks going for "the walk."

I've seen "the walk" many times at car service companies, especially brake shops. You are led out to the shop floor to look at your dismembered automobile to observe the state of disrepair that is your car. The technician clinically describes the dire circumstances and likely resulting fatality that would result should additional costly repairs not be effected. For the very old, the very young, and the very female, it's like leading the lambs to slaughter.

I've long since learned what I can, cannot, perhaps can, and prefer not to fix myself, and not to expect the simple little things that I can do myself to have simple little prices when others do them. The "yeah, sure, it's starting to rain so throw on a couple of windshield wipers" experience many years ago taught me that. I've blocked out the memory of the price, but it might have been around $40 apiece- quite a shock for just snapping a $15 blade into a j-hook. But as you get older, you sometimes have others fix things that you could fix yourself, as you come to value the time more than the money, and besides, it's nice to have something done right instead of good enough. As I've written before, when you're younger, you trade time for money, and when you're older, you trade money for time.

What really impressed me about today's "walk" at Jiffy Lube, when my turn inevitably came, was how well these guys presented the add-ons that generate their profit. In my case, instead of just telling me that it needed a new air filter and cabin filter, or proving it by pointing to the offending parts while still partially assembled, they actually took the filters out, put them on a reasonably clean cloth, dirty side up, for examination. And I noticed that when paying, the guy talked cars with anybody that cared to. In my case, I learned that 2011 GM cars cannot be serviced with standard or even synthetic oil, but that GM has developed their own proprietary lubricant for these vehicles. I don't imagine that, if true, this will come as a pleasant surprise for new GM owners. I'm sure that chains will develop their own knock-offs so that the owners won't necessarily have to go to the dealers for an oil change, but I'm sure it will cost more than standard, too. The point is I was impressed with how these guys did their selling and relationship building. And I actually went for the cabin air filter replacement, which has never been changed in almost 6 years, as that thing is a pain to get to without chipping the vent panels, me with my butter knife, too thick screw driver, cloth and protective tape. Not worth breaking/chipping the panels to save $10-20. It would have been years ago, though.

Now to get a new inspection sticker, which is expired. Hope I get to it before the end of the summer or the beginning of a license suspension. Wish I had a personal assistant to take care of life for me.

The male anorexia

2010-06-20T23:55:00.002-04:00

I mentioned this phrase in passing a while ago, but as I dragged myself out tonight to run, or what passes for running, it makes me think about those guys that actually like to run. I think that most of us run out of fear or guilt, fear of the consequences of being out of shape, or guilt for not being in shape. And running requires little preparation, skill, or investment. Just lace up and go.

As an aside, I think stretching before running is highly overrated. If it's just a "casual" run, it's a waste of time to stretch. Maybe 10-15 seconds- not 10-15 minutes- of cursory stretching of the calves, quads, and hammies just to get your muscles and brain committed to the idea of the upcoming unpleasantness. Then just start off fairly slowly to warm up. If you're going to stretch, stretch after the run,or between runs, and take it easy there too. I'll bet more people pull muscles stretching than they do distance running.

But back to the male anorexia idea. I'm not making light of anorexia, as that is a terrible affliction. I don't really understand the compulsion, how one could have such a strong negative body image as to starve oneself (I can understand bulimia better, but still sad), but I understand that it is a compulsion. And I think that for some runners, especially male runners, running is a compulsion. It's not the running that most of us like, it's doing something good for your body that gives us pleasure (or relieves fear or guilt). In other words, it's not the pleasure of running, but the pleasure of having run. I want to not only be around for my kids and maybe grandkids, but be able to be active with them. It is a responsibility to health, or maybe the ability to be alone with your thoughts (when you get good enough so that those thoughts are of something other than throwing yourself into traffic to end the pain), that drives most of us to hit the pavement. But there are too many that "have to run." I'm not talking about those that treat running as their sport and do so for comptetion. The have-to runners feel real anxiety if they cannot run at the planned time. They are out in all kinds of weather- intentionally- and don't use their treadmills to hang clothes. But as compulsions go, you could do a lot worse.

"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going." Jim Ryun

or maybe it's just endorphin addiction

Dancing with the stares

2010-06-13T22:39:00.003-04:00

That last entry gives rise to yet another whine: why must seemingly every wedding reception favor the dancing audience with a stirring rendition of "YMCA?" Most have the Electric Slide and the Macarena, but the Village People seem to be found at all weddings, which is kind of ironic when you think about it.

Most men don't like to dance. I don't need to substantiate or elaborate here, as it is an obvious truth, and I think I've opined about this previously. Yet women like to dance, and men want to be with women, so men dance when they have to. When you're married, that "have to" is pretty much just at weddings. We can handle the grab and sway slow dance, as that is devoid of skill and pretty close to the only reason we're dancing in the first place, but non-contact dances are humbling experiences for men. Dances with an athletic component, like swing, get a pass, but unfortunately require learning and skill, and most of us aren't about to take the time and effort to learn a dance when there are so many tools to use and sports to play or watch.

But back to the point. Men don't like to dance, and it's going to take a lot of drinks to get a man to dance to a song by the Village People. As it happens, though, there are a lot of drinks.

Can't Stop the Music

2010-06-06T23:58:00.005-04:00

I've noticed that a few devices and software, notably the iPod Touch that I own, and the iTunes account that I am therefore essentially forced to use, apparently do not have an off command when playing music. While this may well be simply yet another manifestation of my significant cognitive limitations, I've read that a lot of people have this same question, i.e., how do you stop the song other than pausing it or switching to another application? The responses almost universally state that pausing or switching accomplishes the same purpose, and perhaps they do, but there is something disconcerting about a device or application that has a start but not a stop, or at least a stop that is obvious. I am quite comfortable with ambiguity, but this is different. This is the other shoe that hasn't dropped, the unfinished symphony, the purpose unfulfilled. I started something, and intend to stop it, but am not allowed to do so, and instead must place the song in a disingenuous stasis. Where is the execution of purpose? Where is the closure? Where is the truth? There is an arrow which means start, the bars that mean pause, why not an octangular symbol for stop? Allow me to let that song die with dignity. (And with that last line you may see that I am not only ruminating about the missing stop button on an iPod Touch.)

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose." Garrison Keillor

2010-05-30T23:45:00.009-04:00

I get a lot of abuse for teaching business beyond the "those that can't do, teach" teasing. A lot of this bad feeling about business is due to the often accurate perception that business people are just greedy and unethical. I know that a lot of people are like that, but are more of them in business? I don't know, but for a long time in business schools "agency theory" has been used to describe the purpose of the corporation. Simply stated, agency theory maintains that the purpose of the firm and its employees, i.e., the agents of the shareholders, is to realize the objectives of those shareholders, which typically is profit dominated. While "shareholders" have been expanded to "stakeholders," (including exployees, consumers, society, etc.), and objectives broadened beyond shareholder profit, there is the perception and in many cases fact that businesses, especially their executives, go to great pains to maximize their own welfare.

Yet business schools, and hopefully increasing numbers of businesses, are evolving to consider the purpose of the firm as providing value. In other words, businesses should have a larger purpose than just making money. Yes, a business needs to make money to remain a business, but it is not the source of greater value, the passion that drives those in business. That sense of higher purpose, that desire to achieve, is beyond the profit motive. That value, that higher purpose, that achievement and contribution, may take many forms, and is often embodied by a firm's mission statement.

The question is, do you have a "mission statement," an idea of higher purpose to give meaning and motivation to your life? As George Bernard Shaw wrote in the dedication to Man and Superman,

"This is the true joy of life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

Hair today, gone tomorrow

2010-05-23T22:21:00.002-04:00

I heard a really clever if not insidious ad for a hair restoration service a couple of days ago. The fact that I heard the ad on the radio and it registered in my consciousness is not a good sign. Before you know it I'll be wearing hats, not to look cool or to showcase my affection for the Sox (I'm more than a little tired of "Red Sox Nation." bandwagon), but to protect from sunburn. I guess it happens to us all; it's just a matter of when. Still, I do not look forward to the day when I am follically challenged, and hope I can gather the grace to accept it with dignity and not resort to the comical comb-over, muskrat glued to your scalp, or inlaid cornrow plugs. Is that some thinning I see?

So this ad, instead of saying that the company was running a sale on hair implants or whatever technique they were using, ran the ad in a PSA-type format informing listeners that there was a research study being conducted on hair restoration, and that volunteers would receive several benefits, including a significant reduction in the price of the procedure. That just sounds so much better than a sale.

Please note that the picture of Phil Spector is not meant to indicate any respect or admiration for this horrible, horrible person. He just looks like a chia pet here.

iTrap

2010-05-16T23:01:00.004-04:00

I've been a pretty loyal Mac boy for a quarter of a century now. I can remember paying $2000 for a computer with a 7 inch screen and a memory of 512k, and I'm not talking about the RAM. And I can tell you about walking seven miles to school in the snow too. Barefoot. Yeah, the age is here, but still waiting for the wisdom.

Anyway, there's a certain smugness in feeling superior to the PC geeks, but the truth is I started using that first Mac because it was easy. Why would anyone learn DOS when you can just point and click? Well now it's all point and click, sometimes with a finger, but Mac's are still a little bit better for a lot more money. And yes, prettier too. Yet my point today is that it just isn't as fun to be a Mac boy anymore. It's not just that they've lost their underdog charm, it's that in some ways they're becoming a lot like the dreaded Microsoft. By that I certainly don't mean the boring, mediocre products of the Gates crew driven solely by marketing and market power. No, Apple still puts out the best products out there. Rather, I'm referring to the arrogance and avarice of the modern Apple i-mperium.

Here's what I mean. I've got an eMac that's at least 8 years old and has served me well but is showing signs of failing, not to mention the limitations due to modest memory and an outdated operating system (which cannot be simply upgraded but must be replaced at no small cost as is typical of Apple). So it's time for a new computer. I see laptops as yesterday's technology, and love the idea of tablets and other convergent devices, especially operating in the cloud, so the iPad is intriguing to me. But this iPad is still just a toy, a beefed up iPod Touch (which I already own). It's a shame, because the potential is so great for a tablet that can be productive and entertaining, but having no multi-tasking, inadequate productivity (even with google-docs), the perplexing (and likely spiteful) inability to employ Flash, among other limitations, will make me wait for a generation or two until the iPad is targeted to somebody other than the Nintendo crowd. So I'll have to pass on the iPad for this round.

Yet the basic point is that Apple's maintenance of too-high price points, planned incremental innovation (keep coming out with newer versions every 10 months), infamously poor product support, grab-every-nickel mentality, and megomaniacal desire for control is getting harder to tolerate. On that last point, I can appreciate that with control comes quality assurance, and kudos to Apple for defending against shoddy and pernicious developers and hackers. But while the freedom of developers vs. the security of the system is an interesting and important debate, as a consumer I'm also concerned about freedom of choice. I don't like being forced to go through AT&T if I were to ever get a cell phone made by Apple. Yes, there are obvious workarounds, but why should anyone have to. I don't like having to go through i-Tunes for all content. I don't like having to go through Apple to buy their products (and the Apple stores at third-party locations are really controlled by Apple) at their prices. I will likely buy another Mac, but I don't think I'll feel as good about it this time. On the other hand, I feel really, really good about their stock price.

Grin and Tonic

2010-05-09T22:09:00.004-04:00

Why aren't business mistakes ever in your favor? Yesterday I was bagging my own groceries as I normally do, which I mostly do to get out quicker but I suppose there's some deeper psychological reason, and of course I didn't notice the checker's mistake. Usually it is an item that doesn't scan correctly (or the more insidious mis-shelved item; fell for that with the potato salad last week), but I've noticed that the on-item coupons, to be removed by the checker, are rarely removed and credited. Yes, it's a small thing, but it's an aggravating thing, as the reason I bought the item in the first place is because of the coupon.

OK, I'm a man, I'm cheap. They say that if you take care of the pennies, the dollars take care of themselves. (Obviously "they" aren't married.). Those dollars aren't going to keep the kids out of college. They're just small things that don't go our way- ever. And is it worth it to seek remediation? Usually not. Businesses complain, legitimately, about shoplifting and employee theft, but do they ever mention when consumers are overcharged or underserved? Businesses raise prices, put the onus on us to recover our losses, and overall it probably more than evens out for them. The thieves, well let's just hope that what goes around comes around. Meanwhile, the rest of us jamokes who don't get our coupons credited, get our car doors dinged, and fall prey to the small print of life, just have to grin and bear it.
.

To have and have not

2010-05-02T23:54:00.002-04:00

We don't know how anything works anymore. Sure, we know how to use it, but we don't have the slightest idea why it does what it does. I don't know much about cars, but I can remember adjusting the timing on a car that had dual distributors, replacing a clutch slave, and doing the basic stuff that we all used to do when we could work on cars. Now I barely know where the oil filter is, and there's not much a lot of us can do with cars anymore. It's the same with a lot of technology. You can take something apart, and sometimes you, or more likely a "technician," can find what appears to be the problem. But there's really nothing you/he/she can do about it but replace the part, or more likely just buy a new one.

And do you really understand electricity? I don't think anybody does. Imagine going back in time. Could you really tell them much of anything or build much of anything?

Society is increasingly being dichotomized into those that use technology and those that understand it. That is, the haves and have-nots used to refer to wealth, but it increasingly is referring to knowledge, particularly technical knowledge. But it's not just information, it's information that informs. It's incredible how little of that there is.

Now and then

2010-04-25T23:39:00.008-04:00

Our generation can do the do-it-yourselfer things. Our fathers could fix anything and did all but the most difficult house improvements, and our grandfathers and before them could improvise and make stuff. Our sons have and will have their little Black and Decker drills and some screwdrivers, and might use a paintbrush now and then but that's it.

Our mothers knew how to cook, and our grandmothers and before them knew how to cook and create from scratch. Our daughters need and will need detailed recipes and just the right ingredients, but more commonly will heat and serve.

On the other hand, I remember that my grandfather, who had a doctorate in genetics, seemed never to be able to master the nuances of a microwave. I'm pretty certain he could master this machine, but saw no reason to clutter his life with unnecessary technology. And that is the conundrum for older folks. It's hard enough to learn something new, but does that new thing perform better enough to justify the additional learning?

For young folks, growing up in the age of technology, the learning curve is not so steep. So as they lose the ability to make and build, they are becoming masters of technology. The trick is knowing when the technology is needed, and what is lost when using technology. Do we really need a calculator function on a computer?

Tastes like chicken

2010-04-18T23:08:00.043-04:00

I remember being in a restaurant once where oysters were sold according to the bay in which they were harvested. Like I would or could ever tell the difference. It's like selling vodka at dramatically different price points based on perceptions of taste. Vodka is tasteless. Yet we profess to be able to discriminate qualitative differences in all manners of food, yet taste test after taste test demonstrate that this is not the case.

I've tested groups in their ability to discriminate quality or brand between beers, and while there is a very small group of "aficionados," the vast majority cannot tell the difference between brands, premium and economy, regular and light, etc. Similarly, it is well documented that wine ratings are little more than whimsy with virtually no consensus among so-called experts, yet these ratings dramatically drive sales of brands and entire vintages. Tests also show that when blindfolded, people usually cannot tell the difference between most fruits and vegetables. It seems that a good deal of taste is vision. And memory, and mind, and feel, and all manner of things beyond what the sensory receptors for taste and smell are telling us. It used to be so simple. Is it sugary, is it familiar, does it look good?

But then one day we started to put mustard instead of ketchup on hot dogs, and the world changed.

A stitch in time...

2010-04-11T23:11:00.001-04:00

I can't tell you how many women I've known that "want to lose just 5 more pounds." Apparently no matter what they weigh, it's 5 pounds too much. Yet I don't recall ever hearing a man express that sentiment. Rather, a man will let himself go to the point that his belt is down around his hips holding up that 50 pound beer keg where his stomach used to be.

Yet now I find myself 3 to 5 pounds heavier than the weight I've been since college. Sure, our metabolisms slow after 40, and we start to thicken and lose muscle mass at 50 (can't wait for 60...), but I never worry if I go a couple of pounds over, as I figure I'll eventually get sick and lose two or three pounds and be back to normal. But this winter I've had the misfortune of good health, and now that we've gotten past the Easter gorge, it's time to go to plan B. Losing weight is easy, as long as you don't have too much to lose, I imagine. It's not complicated: it's calories in vs. calories out. Besides, it would be too expensive to buy new clothes, and since my wife's clothes take up 80% of the walk-in closet, I don't have room for multiple sets of wardrobes for different weights.

And of clothes, it just isn't fair that clothes cost the same no matter the size. How can an XXXL cost the same as a Small? That's just not right.

Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink

2010-04-05T20:16:00.083-04:00

I remember riding with an acquaintance a long while back to play some roundball when someone tapped the back of his bumper. The first words out of his mouth were, "Do you think we can get some money out of this?" That's the last time I played basketball with that guy, but I've witnessed that behavior countless times in people since. There should be a special place in hell for those "working the system." These are people whose only sense of morality is "help me good, hurt me bad," and manage to rationalize their self-centered greed with all sorts of twisted justifications.

While there's a million examples of this behavior, and one doesn't have to look too far to find it at tax time, I'm thinking about FEMA right now, as we've recently gone through some flooding in this area (the picture is of four nearby fields at which my son sometimes plays soccer and baseball). We've all read about all those opportunistic scoundrels who took advantage of the New Orleans disaster to get tons of money undeservedly or spent it in improper ways, scamming the government or the well-intentioned for their own evil profit. I even know someone who used FEMA money in California (of course) to pay for a boob job. I don't think that P.T. Barnum actually said anything about suckers, but the quote, "There's a sucker born every minute, and two to take him," comes to mind in pondering all the people trying to take advantage of individuals and governments in times of crisis. I guess it's the same reason that we have to lock our doors at night and when we're away, and even then it's not enough.

Taking Stock

2010-03-28T23:50:00.011-04:00

If you don't have stock yet you will likely one day own shares, and when you do that stock ownership gives you the right not just to see the corporate annual reports, but the right to attend the annual meeting. It is not likely that you will, so you will have the right to vote by proxy. Recently I've been getting a lot of phone calls at home (messages, actually, as I rarely answer the phone) to urge me to vote, which is something not commonly done in the past and is a bit annoying as I get all the materials both online and by snail mail. But they need the quorum, I guess.

The proxy vote typically has four parts to it: election of board officers, determination of accounting firm, board proposals, and stockholder proposals. For me, I usually vote for the officers if the company is doing well, and am more deliberative for companies falling short of expectations. I confess that I routinely vote against nominees that have law degrees, and often vote against those that chair, and sometimes are members, of compensation committees. I'll typically abstain on the vote for the accounting firm, as I don't know the merits of one from the other, and as past events have shown, even those in the Big Four are not beyond reproach. But it is the board proposal section that is my greatest complaint. Most board proposals concern compensation, primarily theirs. It is unconscionable how most boards seem to only have a single purpose, which is how to pay themselves more. Unconscionable in that company officers are so grossly overpaid, especially considering how little their performance typically relates to the company's performance (there are some exceptions, of course), and unconscionable how little board members do to merit the meeting fees and stock awards/options. Finally, there is the occasional stockholder proposal. I've probably seen a couple of hundred stockholder proposals over the years, and I don't think I've ever seen one supported by the board. Some of the shareholder proposals are crackpot ideas or reflect a particular personal bias, some make sense, and none are supported by boards.

I just wish boards would think more about the business and less about the peanuts. On the other hand, maybe it's better they do so little.

The Nth Degree

2010-03-21T23:50:00.001-04:00

You've all read the stats about a huge increase in lifetime income and wealth that can be expected with the attainment of a college degree, though a college degree for this generation is what a high school diploma was in days past. That is, while you sometimes hear success stories of those who have done extremely well with little education, those stories are typically from your parents' or grandparents' generation. While still the land of opportunity, the line for the good jobs is longer, and the opportunities for entrepreneurship, the fancy word for starting your own business, slimmer.

The business start-up obstacles are fairly obvious. The market niches are fewer, the government impediments greater. There are other difficult barriers to entry, not the least of which is start-up capital. But some potential exists in cyberspace, for example. I suppose it's still possible to be successful by working hard, but the Puritan work ethic has been replaced by the desire for quality of life. I see a lot of kids working hard to help pay their way through college, but "balance" still dominates their thinking. I don't criticize them for that, and in fact seek balance between all the competing interests in my life as well. But what it means is that there aren't a lot of young folks willing to work 80+ hours a week to operate and maintain a laundromat, for instance. In fact, it's getting harder to have teenagers engage in what has traditionally been a right-of-passage, the awful, labor-intensive, low-paying jobs that we're all supposed to have at that age. A lot of kids won't work for minimum wage, as it is "beneath them." And why not; this is the most indulged generation ever, rarely ever having to do without, and getting allowances for doing next to nothing. So skipping college and working 12+ hours a day at a job/business that is not fulfilling just isn't that popular anymore.

So most kids want to get in line for the good jobs, but that line has gotten a lot longer. Yes, you might well be able to do the job, and it's not fair that just because someone has a degree that he/she should be in line ahead of those with experience, desire, ability, etc. But it is typically a buyer's market, so assuming that there are also people with experience, desire, ability, etc., with degrees, why would an employer want to hire anyone without a degree when there are so many candidates with degrees? Of course having the sheepskin doesn't mean you can do the job any better, but I'd rather have my hiring pool composed of kids who have shown that they're smart, ambitious, and have succeeded in the difficult task of earning a college degree. The scary thing, though, is that for an increasing number of professions, the college degree is insufficient, and an advanced degree is necessary. What are you going to do with just a B.S. in Psychology, for example?

It is a shame that degrees have become credentials and admissions tickets, as the purpose of college is to learn (or at least learn how to learn). Despite the protests to the contrary and up-turned noses of us in academics, particularly the arts and sciences crowd, college has become a vocational institution.

Boys will be boys

2010-03-14T22:51:00.006-04:00

Men are extremely simple creatures. We are just boys in larger bodies. Outside of work (and never forget that a man is his work- it's his identity), we only think of three things: what's for dinner, am I going to "get lucky" tonight, and what game can I watch or play (only the toys change)? For the first one, it's not that we're foodies so much as that this is a recurring problem that requires a solution. For the second one, as I heard one of those redneck (their word) comedians insightfully opine, marital sex is a lot like ordering one of those Civil War chess sets: every four to six weeks a piece will arrive, though you won't know what condition it's in. Since the first thought matter is frequent but easily solved, and the second thought matter becomes but a memory and infrequent surprise, the third thought matter becomes the avocational raison d'etre. That is why golf was invented (five hours of fun without your wife) and man caves exist (quality time with tools, tvs, computers, games, etc.). Marriage is pretty much the same as being a kid. Somebody feeds you and cleans up after you, sex is irrelevant, and playing is what matters. Just be in before the street lights are on.

Fantasy Sports

2010-03-07T17:34:00.001-05:00

How stupid is this concept? And yet I play, and I like it. I think I'd still rather play for real, but don't have the time, the outlet (my friends are as old and decrepit as I am), and perhaps the medical coverage to do so. In fact, doing almost anything active and fun is such an effort now. Like I have time to join a league and go to practices and games. Or get in a car and have special clothes and equipment to go exercise. Or not have to replace a knee.

When I was a kid (Whoa! Things old people say! Should I tell you about walking miles in the snow barefoot to school? The funny thing is, I did walk 4 miles a day to go to school...) it was just step outside or knock on a few doors and before you knew it, the street, yard, or driveway had enough kids for a game. And we'd play all day until the streetlights came on (and then some other game like kick-the-can if it was OK with the moms). I didn't know any fat kids (well, maybe one), and could throw a ball 150 feet easy by age 8. Now I'm on a computer using the stats of others to compete. That's just sad.

At least I can still strap on a pair of sneakers and pound the pavement for a few miles, but I'm getting increasingly good at finding reasons to not do that as much as I should. There's nothing fun about running (and don't believe that "runner's high" stuff. That's just grandma calling you to the light...). The only satisfaction comes when you're done, because you're done and won't have to do it again for at least a couple of days (and frankly you feel good about having done it), or you're one of those running addicts (the male anorexia) who doesn't realize that running is their "dependence."

Gotta go- time to start preparing my draft.

50% Chance of Rain

2010-02-28T23:52:00.001-05:00

Why do some good raincoats, the ones you wear over suits, have heavy linings? Besides the fact that you're already wearing a jacket underneath, if it's that cold, it's not raining. And when you think about it, why do you really need a good raincoat anyway? Men really don't wear hats anymore other than a baseball cap, which you shouldn't be wearing with a suit unless you invented the internet, or something really goofy that they think is cool but not only isn't cool, it isn't waterproof. So if you're not wearing one of those hats they wore in the days of black and white movies, you're going to have to have an umbrella to keep dry, in which case you won't need a raincoat, will you?

I suppose you can get by with a slicker over a sports/suit coat if it's raining, but it's not top choice. But if it's cold, it's the pompous top coat or shivering with nothing, unless you've got an enormous parka (or worse yet a not enormous parka), in which case you've got other problems.

And about having problems, what about those human oddities that wear too-big raincoats on clear days? There may be lots of reasons for that, and they're all bad.

And finally, meteorologists, and pretty much everyone else, should not be allowed to make the infamous "50% chance" call. Just admit that you have no idea.

With Glowing Hearts

2010-02-21T22:51:00.003-05:00

Really enjoying the Olympics this year, as I've discovered the secret to do so: skip the opening and closing ceremonies, and don't watch any figure skating/ice dancing. Wish I understood the curling rules better though (OK, understood them at all).

Romancing the Stone

2010-02-15T23:37:00.006-05:00

Made it past Valentine's Day again. Is there any man that doesn't hate what is the least romantic day of the year? Please, just tell us what the minimum requirement is to fulfill this holy day of obligation.

Queue Cues

2010-02-14T23:44:00.000-05:00

"We are experiencing abnormally high call volume." I rarely phone call centers, preferring live chat but often having to send an email to get a "timely response," typically promised in 2-3 business days. But when I do call I seemingly always have the misfortune of encountering the apparently normal abnormal call volume. Perhaps this is due to how long it takes to navigate the menu in order to get to reach the queue (the word, fittingly, with the longest string of consecutive vowels, if memory serves me). And when you finally do reach the proper extension, you often get to hear how long the wait will be from there. I'm told that the software is sophisticated enough to estimate wait times fairly accurately, but I don't know that call centers are using that software, as it really seems that the wait times are often just wild guesses. I've actually tested this by calling three times within a minute and finding the wait time estimates to vary by up to 300%.

Wait estimates have an interesting psychology. Restaurants often slightly overestimate them, so that when you're called after waiting an hour having been told the wait is 70 minutes, you're actually happy about it. Call centers seem to be just pulling the times out of hats, though.

I've heard that typically regardless of the menu, one can press "0" at any point to reach a person. I've tried it a few times and it's always worked for me.

Your call is important to us

2010-02-07T22:20:00.001-05:00

Of course it is. Why else would you allow me to experience the wonders of technology by having a machine talk to me? Why else would you allow me the enjoyment of navigating your fascinating and endless menu? Why else would you understaff the lines to assure that I'll have the maximum time to enjoy your commercials and "music" again and again? And a seeming fortnight later when I finally do get through, I may well luck out and get to go through the process a second, and maybe even more times. It's great to be important.

Reply All

2010-01-31T23:14:00.013-05:00

The apex of egocentricity.

Unless a group discussion is specifically requested or implied by the sender, who should probably be using SharePoint or such if that is the case, please don't reply to the rest of us. I really don't want to have my email clogged with those self-important but ultimately vapid opinions, particularly yours. Besides, if I keep having to attend to all of these "reply alls," I might miss out on getting my Irish Sweepstakes winnings presently in the hands of a good Samaritan in Ethiopia and requiring only a modest bank deposit on my part.

Before the horse

2010-01-24T21:53:00.001-05:00

Grocery carts really haven't gotten much better over the years. When I was a kid comedians were joking about that wobbling or intractable fourth wheel, and it's not much different now. But I don't like that some newer carts have that cupholder. Like we don't have enough shoplifters and people with zero impulse control now, so let's encourage these ill-mannered louts to grab a soda off the shelf and enjoy a beverage while they stroll aimlessly down the aisles. That is, if they can get by those humvee-sized carts pushing too-big kids around. And then there are the cell phone talkers and socializers causing bottlenecks. Even the men carrying handbaskets, well-intentioned as they are, find they buy too much for the little basket and can't keep up the pace. No, to move around quickly in a store you need a good cart. Should you take the one offered by the greeter, if there is one? Like they care. Should you grab one from the line? Risky, even if you can separate those two carts stuck together. So what to do? Your best odds for a good cart is to snag one in the parking lot. Yes, there is a little extra pushing involved, but the carts in the lot will on average be better than those in the store.

Did you get the notes?

2010-01-17T23:28:00.001-05:00

A classic dilemma: you've missed a class, the instructor has not entered the millenium and posted outlines/notes online, and you're not sure who in class can give you the notes. Ignoring the social factor for the moment, which of course is paramount in the sense that it may be an ice-breaker to meet someone or simply an easy solution to ask a friend, the question is who can give you the best notes. This may seem elementary, but the paradox here is that the best students take the worst notes. While those notes may be well-organized, they tend to be sparse, as the best students are mentally involved. They listen, jotting down conclusions, pertinent examples, and occasionally original thoughts not directly transmitted by the instructor. Copying these notes probably won't be particularly helpful.

Conversely, poorer students view notes as transcripts of the class, struggling to write down everything the instructor says. The information typically goes in the ear, down through the arm, and onto the paper with precious little internalization. These students often have the illusion that if something is not understood, it will be when the notes are reviewed later that day or in all probability the night before the exam. So what this usually means is that the more a student writes during a lecture, the less s/he understands the lecture.

The answer to the paradox, then, is to get the notes from a dumb kid (to be more charitable, an earnest but struggling student), as though s/he understands the lecture less, s/he has taken more copious notes. Of course, you may need your Captain Midnight decoder to decipher them.

Have a seat

2010-01-10T12:22:00.000-05:00

More on the beginning of a new semester. While it's tempting to make new semester resolutions as one might at New Years, we know, that just like the new diet, the promise to get and stay ahead on your reading and assignments will fail within a few weeks. Rather, here's something you can use: sit in the front of the class.

This is counter to two cherished seating preferences of students. First, at least 80% of students, I'd guess, tend to sit in the same seat all the time. While this makes it easier to learn names and hand back assignments, it is really a curious social practice. Sometimes it's just a matter of sitting next to the cute girl/boy or a cheating partner/target, but usually it has something to do with psychological comfort. I don't know exactly what that is, but it is always amusing to see what happens when another student sits in a student's "regular" seat.

The second cherished seating preference deals with "hiding" in the back of the room. This probably provides another kind of security related to being under less scrutiny. But here's the thing. Instructors believe that lesser students sit in the back, and that the better students sit in the front, with the best often in the front row. Sometimes those first row students are a pain, the "little sir question" that has to say or ask something about everything, or that works too hard at currying favor. But in general, students up front get the best grades.

So if you want a better grade, sit in the front row, and you will immediately communicate a likelihood that you are bright, and almost certainly create an impression that you are interested, which is huge in catching a break come grading time.

The picture? That's Bob "I must be in the front row" Uecker, also known as Mr. Baseball. Going back a long way for that early Miller Lite ad.

A student's new year

2010-01-03T21:52:00.005-05:00

A new year, and soon a new semester. As you're choosing classes, you're probably most concerned with filling requirements, or worse yet, maybe you're just trying to find classes that meet at convenient times for you. What a shame. You probably work, and you want some balance in your life, but school has to be your top priority. So choose classes the right way, and that right way is to take the best instructor you can. If you remember nothing else, remember that the professor is more important than the subject of the course. I guarantee that you'll never regret choosing a course on the basis of the quality of the professor, and by quality I'm not talking about how easy the course is, how high the grades are, or how many hot peppers are by his/her name. You want the path of least resistance, fine, pay your money and waste your time. It's your life.

You know what I mean by quality. Choosing the best is especially important for your electives, as you probably have more chances to take the best. Electives aren't opportunities to bump your GPA with bunnies like nutrition and film studies. They're a chance to take the best professors at the college. You will actually get more from a great professor in a subject you thought you had little interest in than a fair professor in a subject you love. It doesn't matter what the subject is; it will be the subject you will always remember.

Christmas Cookies

2009-12-27T23:09:00.008-05:00

What kind of cookies does Santa like? I mean, this is not the time to aggravate the big guy, and by the reputed looks of him, he knows his cookies. He must get tired of the same old cookies, but putting something novel on the plate is risky. We put out some homemade gingerbread cookies this year. He seemed to like them, but I don't think he was thrilled with those hard little ball decorations, which are like tiny jawbreakers. But at least it was better than the same old sugar, chocolate chip, and the rest that he sees millions of times. And I think it is good form to leave a couple of carrots out for the reindeer.

But what I really want to know is who decided that oatmeal and raisins go well together? Raisins are just rotten grapes, and they certainly don't belong in cookies. Sometimes its nice to have a cookie that's not quite so sweet, and oatmeal can be OK, but raisins just spoil them. I bet Santa would like a nice oatmeal cookie without the raisins.

I really like some homemade Christmas cookies, particularly the almond spritz cookies that my mom used to make and took my wife 15 years to approach near-mom quality. She makes a few batches just before Christmas, perhaps a gross or so, but those last about a day (I really like those cookies). Then I have to go through withdrawal and wait another year. Why are Christmas cookies made only at Christmas? Can't the same recipe be used to make these cookies at other times of the year? We're not talking about vomitous eggnog or toxic fruitcake here. Those cookies would go great with a lot of holidays. In fact, ~~many~~ all holidays need cookies. It's just not right to restrict these tasty delights to Christmas. As Jacqueline Suzanne said, "Once is not enough."

Why do the prettiest people do the ugliest things?

2009-12-20T20:02:00.002-05:00

The answer, as with so many things, may be because they can. But that is too facile. Conventional wisdom says that pretty people are treated better than others. I don't think there's much question about that. But rather than focusing on why that is, and I'm sure there's been a lot of studies on that, I wonder whether very attractive people, and by that I mean pretty, powerful, famous, and whatever is attractive, do unattractive things at a higher frequency than the rest of us. Superstars obviously play by different rules than we do, but does that make them worse people?

What prompts this is the recent disclosures regarding Tiger Woods. You can bet that when a cheater gets caught, it is not his first time cheating. And it is not as though he had Hilary Clinton for a wife, which would allow some mitigating circumstance. No, it is not so unusual that Tiger was an adulterer; so many are. But beyond the salacious details of his "indiscretions," (as Rick Pitino says), was the extraordinary juggling of over a dozen women simultaneously. I'd like to think that I've never cheated on my wife because I choose not to, though the painful truth may be that no one else would have me. Yet I'm quite confident that if I was a cheatin' weasel that there's no way I could attract and handle that many women. Sure, Tiger is young and handsome, but what possesses so many women to be involved with this married man? Yes, I know that many women like the bad boys, the powerful, and the hunks. But isn't the explanation just so much simpler? The guy probably makes $100 million a year.

Class envy? I think not; there's no class to envy here.

A side note on distance learning

2009-12-13T22:24:00.003-05:00

Some months ago after my first harangue against distance learning I got a call from a fellow from a fitness magazine who wanted an interview. Even more surprising than the notion that anyone ever reads these narcissistic, self-indulgent blogs (though that's redundant, as aren't all blogs, really?) was the spin he had for his article. He was interested in the tie between fitness and distance learning.

I hadn't really thought about it before. Of course we are becoming more sedentary; can you imagine our ancestors' reactions to people paying money to go exercise? And everyone knows how overweight we Americans are. (The U.S. Government's Center for Disease and Prevention reports that the percentage of noninstitutionalized adults age 20 years and over who are overweight or obese is 67% [2005-2006]! I've also read that the fraction of overweight and obese children is over a third!) But is there a connection between distance learning and fitness?

I don't know if it's a strong connection, as the physical exertion needed to get to class seems pretty minor, but perhaps distance learning is just one more symptom of a lifestyle now manifested by our inactive, unfit society.

Virtual learning

2009-12-06T20:29:00.014-05:00

I have written before about my concerns about distance learning. One of those objections is the belief that college represents an evolution not just of mind but of spirit. When I talk to people about their memories of college, the conversation is almost invariably about college life, not college courses. College is sort of a "halfway house" between childhood and adulthood, where people find out who they are and who they want to be. It is the formation of mind and the evolution of character, "knowledge" in a far greater sense than book larnin'. For those who claim they don't need the "college experience," then just buy a book. If you're motivated to learn, you'll learn from a book, a classroom, an experience, or distance learning. I suppose that there are some interested in learning and are attracted to the structure and dynamics of distance learning, but for most, it is not so much about learning as a short-cut to the credits and degree, with more convenience and less rigor the carrots. And colleges increasingly are anxious to sell the academic indulgences (in the 16th century Catholic sense).

I am well aware that test scores for distance learning vs. traditional classrooms are not significantly different, which doesn't surprise me in the least since most tests only evaluate content or sterile skill-sets, which really can be communicated by just texts and manuals (or similar "show me" mechanisms). In fact, I'd think that distance learning would be more effective in delivering content than a classroom in that there is a record of that content, so that the content may be accessed repeatedly and at one's own pace. So now we have what amounts books and directions for study being delivered electronically. Nothing wrong with that, and for those content-laden courses, and to a large extent the skill-set transfer courses, distance learning is fine, especially in augmenting traditional classroom experiences. But just as the college experience is lost in distance learning, so too is the classroom experience. It is that real-time thinking, the give and take, the argumentation, the unplanned and spontaneous, the group dynamics and synergies, the learning experience that is very difficult to capture in cyberspace and is another source of my concerns. However, I think that some distance learning instructors are trying hard not to lose too much of the learning experience, and strongly suspect that technology will further enable this effort in the future. In fact, I think that we are at the point where virtual learning can and will become commonplace. It seems odd to me that virtual classrooms are not more sophisticated. We have so many virtual worlds online now, and I'm confident that education will be part of the virtual world to a far greater extent.

And now we've arrived at my purpose in this entry. In the last blog I wrote that our children are becoming avatars, parts of virtual worlds of play at very young ages, and lamented the ironic reduced development and atrophication of real world social skills and experiences. We will very soon see, if we haven't already, these living avatars enter college. I have a visceral objection to continuing the inculcation of our children into the world of The Matrix, where the unreal is the real. Socially, we already have to plan "play dates" for our kids to see other children, struggle to determine how much time on the addictive virtual world and electronic games is appropriate, limit social experiences out of fear of all the bad people out there (Jerry Springer isn't just a TV show anymore, it's the world outside our doors), and now we have to consider virtual education too? How far away are we from strapping electrodes to our heads to go to work, go to school, play, have sex, and essentially live most of lives in a world of seamless connection between brain and machine? While that specter may be the extreme, the notion that social development is being eroded by virtual and electronic worlds and will only get worse with virtual education is not the fear of a technophobe or Luddite, but the fear of a parent and educator.

Lord of the Flies

2009-11-29T23:09:00.001-05:00

Have you seen these social networking sites for kids? Just as Facebook has evolved into the domain of middle-aged women looking for old boyfriends and posting family photos, sites like Webkinz, Toontown, Club Penguin, and Roblox now have kids interacting with others in virtual worlds.

What's interesting is how many kids, when given the chance, transform these seemingly safe and innocent places into competitive, social-pressure-filled, more "mature" themed zones, often using codes that adults cannot readily recognize. The designers program filters, safeguards, and activities to insure a safe experience for children, but these are only partly successful, as kids form their own words to substitute for swears to get by filters/censors, engage in more mature activities like "dating" (and are very competitive and combative about it), and find ways to be mean to each other. Assuming that these are kids on such websites, a worrisome assumption for parents, when left to their own devices more often than not the experience degrades into the law of the jungle, where some strangers may demonstrate kindness and cooperation, but many will bully and destroy, form cybergangs, and chat trash.

How ironic that these social sites are just the opposite, exposing kids to antisocial behavior and keeping kids away from real kids outside of the lcd screen.

Brevity is the soul of wit

2009-11-22T22:56:00.000-05:00

One of the skills we focus on in college is the art of presenting. What it has become all too often is a focus on making pretty PowerPoint slides, often using flash, sometimes with embeds, and then reading the slides to the audience. The result is that the form distracts from the content, and in fact the focus often becomes the form itself. Students are getting very good at creating PowerPoints, but the presentations are no better, and may be worse, than the old poster-board days.

So how can students, and anybody else for that matter, make interesting and informative presentations? One interesting attempt is something called pecha-kucha (Japanese for "chatter"), which applies a simple set of rules to Power-Point presentations: exactly 20 slides displayed for 20 seconds each for a total of six minutes and 40 seconds of well-matched words and images. The result, when done well, combines business meeting and poetry slam to transform PowerPoint pap into compelling beat-the-clock performance art.

While it might be argued that this is just another focus on form rather than content, what it does do is force the presenter to distill the critical information to that which is most meaningful and absorbable for the audience. It's kind of a variation on the old editing axiom that if one can understand the point without that sentence, then eliminate that sentence. The 20x20 is just a fun gimmick for driving home the point that the point is the point.

The world is filled with ironies...

2009-11-15T21:22:00.000-05:00

... Jerry Garcia ties?

Money, Alcohol, and Driving in the Snow

2009-11-08T22:12:00.006-05:00

Name three things that make you more of who you really are.

Trick or Treat

2009-11-01T22:30:00.010-05:00

While trick-or-treating with the kids and their friends and parents this year it was amazing to observe the swine flu paranoia. Purell on porches and worried parents wondering whether they should allow their children to receive flu shots. People talking about thalidomide and lead and contamination and having virtually no knowledge of science or control of their emotions. We love our kids, but apparently not enough to learn.