Sunday, April 05, 2009

Popsicle Toes

Erik's sandal comment brings to light the whole ugly business of open toes. If we can dismiss the foot-fetishists (and while all fetishes are pretty weird, sucking on toes and whatever else these disturbed individuals do is disgusting -though who really cares as long as they're someone else's toes, I guess), who wants to see toes? They range from unattractive to revolting, so why would women wear rings, paint toenails, and otherwise draw attention to those odd metatarsals? I can pretty much guarantee that men aren't looking at her toes, and if they are, well, let's just say that this isn't a good sign.

And the sandals. Nice feet aren't all that nice, and there aren't many nice feet around. Too many are dirty, and are misproportioned, have bumps, with crooked, misshapen toes and nails that are too long, cracked, and lord knows what. And that little toe that's barely a toe, that's never a showpiece. So of course it's good to give the dogs some air on those hot days, but there must be a better way to hide those toes. Socks with sandals? Looks odd, especially against those toneless calves, but give the sandalsockers credit for not displaying those knarly toes. Unless of course it is socks with flip-flops (which I've seen). Flip-flops shouldn't really be in any public place other than the beach or pool anyway (and Birkenstocks should be eliminated entirely, or maybe just the pretentious snobs who wear them).

They say children are better seen and not heard, but toes should not be seen at all.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Erik Marks said...

Unfortunately, some days are just too hot to not throw on a pair of sandals or flip flops- it's certainly a better compromise than those god awful hospital slippers they call Crocs (you had an entry about those things, didn't you?)

As far as socks with sandals, well, the Germans haven't been fashionable or stylish since World War 1, so we can't blame them for their natural inclinations. Socks with flip flops, on the other hand, I have no idea what's being accomplished there. Ninja chic, perhaps?

April 7, 2009 at 9:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What type of emasculated douche doesn't appreciate the allure of healthy well cared for feminine toes? You are truly a great disappointment. And a minority I must add. Healthy clean feet are wonderful. The fact that toes can be odd it what makes them interesting. Seeing a women's naked feet is exhilarating. It's called having fun, look into it you sad little man.

April 21, 2009 at 3:52 AM  

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