No Man is an Island- A Peninsula, Perhaps

You would think that as you progress in life you would accumulate friends, but this does not seem to be the case for many men I know. With a career comes the 40+ hours of work a week until the gold watch arrives. When men marry, it is not unusual for female friends to go by the wayside (often at the wife's insistence). With the arrival of children, what little time a man has away from work is generally spent "with the family." With a house comes an increase in the "honey-do" list as well as never-ending domestic projects. The result is that men tend to cocoon, involved with work, family, projects, and barcolounger, with little time or energy to cultivate a circle of friends. Yes, women are right that for them, children bring incredible time pressures and energy drains, but the children grow up, and I think that women tend to be more social animals than men anyway.

Men may retain a few friends from high school or college and perhaps develop a few "friends of circumstance" like work colleagues or neighbors, usually to participate in the rare male recreation/sports activities, but the "inner circle" tends to be quite small. Yes, life tends to separate friends and they can drift away, and a lot of men aren't the most social of sorts to start with, but the message here for you young adults, particularly men, is to work at balance in your life and don't give up friends easily. The guy who said that if on your deathbed you can look back and count fivc true friends you have lived a successful life knew what he was talking about.

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

Clever stuff, so obviously not mine but copied (don't have the original attribution). No real commentary here; don't ask, don't tell, don't care- fine by me (or as Seinfeld would say, "Not that there's anything wrong with that.") Just thought it was fun to read; even my Canadian relatives might think so, but I'm pretty sure no one would want to own or even rent them.

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

"Agism" - the Flip Side

The cultural devotion and pursuit of youth in America is well established and known to all. What is less well understood is how those who actually possess this attribute are treated by others in this youth-obsessed society. Interestingly, the answer is sometimes not so great, at least when it comes to financial matters. Yes, the young have rotten jobs when working their way through school, and of course start at the bottom of the corporate ladder when graduated, as they are expected to pay their dues as those before them did (despite the unrealistic and self-absorbed expectations of too many MBAs). But how are the young treated when it comes time to spend that hard earned scratch? Of course it's reasonable that creditors should protect themselves with cosigners and other mechanisms to guard against the higher likelihood of default from those with lesser resources and experience, but what about the behaviors and attitudes toward these young adults as they engage in shopping and purchasing?

A number of factors may interact with age, including gender, appearance, dress, companions, purchase category, etc. Yet while I haven't had the time to methodically research the topic, I am continually told by students (and can recollect from my own experiences), that young adults are treated quite differently than their elder consumers. Regardless of their actual financial resources, it appears that young adults are essentially discriminated against, albeit subtley. Some salespeople (bad ones, of course), believe that they can size up (qualify) a prospect almost immediately based on appearance. For instance, how many times have you been treated differently in a store, restaurant, bank, repair center, etc., depending upon how you are dressed? Young adults run into this constantly. Young adults are steered to various product options based on stereotypes, inferences about their interests, bank accounts, etc. A young man must want a fast car, but can't afford a true sportscar. A young woman must want a "cute" car in which she looks good. Either may be "just looking" and not deserving of a lot of time and respect unless accompanied by a parent. So while most of us want to be young, we don't want to be treated as young, at least when it comes to shopping.

This just touches upon the myriad of instances of "reverse agism," but provides a lesson for college students (it may be too late for those judging these students). Expect such stereotypes, and proactively prepare for them. I used to think that if I dressed in a way that looked like I was just a regular guy of modest means, sellers/repairers would be apt to "give me a break" on price out of compassion. I have learned that the opposite is true. Dress well, speak in an educated manner, and be well informed if you want to be treated best. Do not be afraid to take your business elsewhere if you are not seated well in a restaurant, ignored by merchants, demeaned by lenders, etc. Expect that you'll be watched more closely near expensive merchandise, and that your credit may be more closely scrutinized. Tell retailers what you want, not what they think you should have. Above all, despite the condescension, behave with dignity.

Distance Learning? Just Say No!

Distance learning, where students essentially attend college online, seems to be a win-win for all concerned. Students get college credit from the comfort of their own home, and colleges have a high profit, high growth potential alternative revenue stream. Even make-believe colleges, like the University of Phoenix, can get in on the action in tapping into the large number of people looking for an easy degree and willing to buy the credential. I see a lot of students, especially those returning after some time in the work force, that are just looking to get their ticket punched and seeking the easiest path to the sheepskin. I can't hate them for that, and in fact admire those recognizing what it takes to advance and going to the effort to do so. The two important issues are whether the distance learning experience delivers a valuable education, and whether a distance learning degree delivers a valued credential.

On the former question, virtually all the traditional college educators and sophisticated employers I know would answer with a resounding no. It is debatable whether the content, skills, and dispositions purported to be the outcomes of traditional higher education may be acquired through the distance learning channel. Many of us would say "maybe," but have concerns about the low-level "entrance" requirements (which are essentially a pen and checkbook), and the lack of a classroom experience replete with interactions with instructors and other students. Yes, I know the claims that the chat room formats and email access variants are claimed to do the same job, but we don't believe that canned presentations (or even those live streamed) with chat yields a comparable result. This is not a defensive posture germinating from a desire to preserve our jobs and the status quo; quite the contrary, distance learning (and for some, even web-ct, i.e., distance learning lite), would make our jobs immensely easier. We are philosophically against it, and see it as a matter of ethics and efficacy.

From another, perhaps even more important perspective, no campus presence means no campus experience. Going to college means a lot more than just going to class. The interpersonal and other learning gained through the college experience perhaps overshadow the academic learning. To obtain a degree online is to avoid that college experience and robs the student of invaluable "life" learning.

Yet there are many who could care less about the "college experience," and are content with a barebones academic experience as long as it results in the credential, which gets us to the latter point. Is a distance learning degree really an equivalent academic credential? Perhaps in some circles it is, but generally it is not. When we get applications from those with distance learning degrees, for instance, they are immediately discarded. Many of the employers we talk to have the same perspective, and in fact a distance learning degree is sometimes viewed as worse than having no degree at all. This is because a college degree is a signal to the employer not so much of a level of knowledge (90% of what you need to know will be learned on the job most of the time), but of a level of maturity, motivation, and character. The college graduate has demonstrated not only a willingness to work, but to work in the right way and get the job done. A distance degree signals sloth with the faint scent of artifice, a desire to take the easy way out.

I can see where small private colleges, facing severe economic challenges, may hear the siren call of distance learning and its promise of easy money. Even other colleges are being lured by this potential cash cow, particularly as some graduate degree income streams are being challenged. However, I hope that colleges can resist the temptations of the reputation-cheapening distance learning option, as pandering to those seeking a credential rather than an education does not fulfill your mission. And for those students who seek only a credential rather than an education through distance learning, be careful what you wish for.