Have you seen the muffin man?

To many the day-old half-price rack in the bakery section is unacceptable. Imagine what people would think. Or how can the refined palette of so special a person be insulted with less than the best? Yet the "fresh" muffins will not be eaten at the earliest until the next morning- that's right, it becomes a day old muffin, and maybe more. One day, two days, three days, a week- where's the edibility line? The truth is that unless you're eating that muffin warm on site, you've lost that fresh-out-of-the-oven meltability and have bought yourself an old muffin.

Put it in a microwave? You've fallen into my trap, for that day-old muffin is just as nukeable as the same day muffin and the three day muffin. In fact, as long as that muffin isn't too kaleidoscopically fuzzy it's revivable, even if it takes extraordinary measures like the old damp paper towel trick.

So let these snobs turn their noses up at the half-price muffins and go pay an extra three dollars a pound for fresh fish that will likely be put in the freezer, and make sure all leftovers get thrown out (much to the dog's and husband's -a fine line, there- chagrin). It's only money, and how can one put a price on ego?

And by the way, what's with the health information stating the serving size as one-third of a muffin? Who eats just one-third of a muffin? Maybe more people would if they saw the fat and calories in muffins, but I guess that's why the serving size is stated as it is. Do you really want to do the math to see that there's 54 grams of fat and 1400 calories there? On the positive side, the person who thought of putting chocolate in muffins is a genius.