Sunday, August 07, 2011

Who's grandpa?

Nobody knows their grandpa anymore.  It's kind of ironic in that they're living so much longer, but between them moving away and/or us moving away, they're just not around so much.  I hear my parents speak of how their grandparents lived with the family for a time, and for many there are childhood memories of a grandparent being part of the nuclear family, or at least so close that it was over the river and through the woods and you were at grandma and grandpa's house.  I didn't know my grandparents particularly well, typically seeing them for holidays and the typical family events, and I don't remember them spending a lot of time at the kids' table at Thanksgiving, both literally and figuratively speaking.  Now grandparents are in better health and don't live with their children and grandchildren, leading more independent lives often involving moving to Florida or the like.  By the time grandparents start to decline, the grandkids are usually grown up, and the kids have and exercise more "managed care" options.  In general, I don't think that kids have a very close relationship with the grandparents, at least not the way it used to be, and I think both grandparents and grandchildren are missing something there.  On the other hand, I see more grandparents increasingly involved in child rearing, as many of the single parents come to rely more on the grandparents for babysitting and primary care.  Folks that already raised kids shouldn't have to do it again for someone else, but sometimes having grandparents act as surrogate parents is the best option available. But that really isn't the "traditional" grandparent role either.  Nobody goes fishing with grandpa anymore.

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