Casual is not that casual

One of the most confusing phrases you will encounter in business is "business casual." For many businesses, this is now the norm, and you'll figure it our fast at your place of business. But it is a confusing phrase in another environment, and especially if you don't have a lot of rings around the trunk. That meeting, conference, party, etc., that advises "business casual attire" might mean something different than your "casual Friday" at work or your preconception of casual. For example, what you wear on a date, to a wedding, to a cookout, and pretty much anywhere probably isn't business casual.

As a rule of thumb in life you can always overdress and then dress down (take off the tie, the jacket, roll up the sleeves, etc.) if need be. That same modus vivendi applies for many behaviors, actually. But business casual means not jeans and not a suit but somewhere in between, and usually falls into two basic categories for males (I am clearly not qualified to comment on any female behavior, especially wearing clothes): Bill Gates or Old Richard Gere. Bill Gates usually wears khakis and an oxford shirt, but if it's hot a collared polo shirt works. Old Richard Gere is a jacket with a colored shirt, open one button, two at most, with pants with a crease (that is meant to be there). Casual shoes (not sneakers or sandals) in both cases. Some people might also go with a dress shirt and tie, but I personally like the jacket and shirt, as it is much classier, and the tucked in collared shirt in the summer is good. Never under any conditions wear a short sleeve dress shirt, particularly with a jacket or with a tie, unless you are in the computer field.

By the way, why does the guy in picture have a farmer's tan with white hands? Yes gloves, but why? OK, I'll get off the fashion kick. Never in my life did I think I would ever tell anyone how to dress, and by now you've figured out why, as I'm pretty clueless. In fact, I try to dress just well enough so as not to be noticed.

The ties that bind

For some of you young men it will be time to get your "interview suit." That's the easy part. Just get a dark one (black, blue, maybe gray) that fits (no roll at the neck, bottom of jacket falls into cupped fingers with arms extended; slight break at bott0m of pants crease, you know about the sleeves and slightly extending shirt cuff, etc.), and make sure it's pressed. White shirt, neat collar, polished conservative shoes. Obviously. The interesting issue is the tie. Not the way you tie it (point just touches top of belt buckle when standing erect, balanced knot- I like the Double Windsor myself, and dimple optional), but the tie you choose. A man's tie is really the only opportunity he has to express himself in business attire, and therefore it's sometimes really the only item that gets noticed (OK, women notice shoes, maybe). So let your girlfriend or wife pick out every article of your clothing, if you like, but preferably not your interview suit (doubles nicely for funerals, too, if you've got a staid tie to go with it), and give some thought to the tie. Just remember that wearing a correct suit shows that you know what you're doing, but your tie shows who you are. (On interview day you're more serious and conservative than you imagine, so a simple matching print tie is you; once you have the job, more of the real you will emerge.)

Does size matter?

I remember when I first moved to Southern California many years ago I was told that virtually all the cars I'd see would be either worth under $300 or over $30,000 (which would probably be double that now), and there seemed to be some truth to that, as in those days the value of the car seemed to correlate to the size of the income. In fact, the size of the car seemed to correlate to the value of the car as well. Most luxury cars aren't big anymore. To have a large car now connotes lower social status (old Cadillacs, for instance), higher age (Crown Vics, for instance), or utterly absent intelligence (Hummers, for instance). No, Lincolns aren't Lincolns anymore, and the German luxury cars are for everybody now (You can buy a two-year old E-class for under $25,000, or buy a new "entry class" for not much more), though Corvettes still are for middle age and older crises, and wannabes will still rent cars they cannot afford to own.

The status cars aren't big anymore, but now park themselves and have lots of gadgets (like fans in the seat to keep your back cool). Status is now a different kind of image, not necessarily of wealth, though you'll probably have to pay more than the car is worth to display that image. Smart car, Mini-Cooper, Prius, Cube, Phaeton, vintage anything, Scion, the new Camaro, and so many others put new spins on you-are-what-you-drive.

Yet size still matters in some respects. The new mini-vans, called SUVs (I don't know where the real SUVs went), impress the soccer-moms with increasing heights above the road. And large car speakers remain status symbols for small-brained and soon to be hearing impaired youth. But it is really with trucks that size matters. Ford Rangers and Mazdas are OK, but a never-pampered 10 year old F-series or Silverado is a real truck. As Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart once said, "Why do I drive a pickup truck? What am I supposed to haul my dogs around in, a Rolls-Royce?" With your basic beat on it pick-up, size is good, but now some trucks aren't really trucks anymore. I'm not talking about the big rigs, for if you spend a high percentage of your life in a Kenworth then by all means make it cool and comfortable. Rather, I'm talking the "sports utility trucks" and other high-gloss, bed-linered, 18-position bucket seat vehicles that are mostly for show. I guess the Avalanches are OK, though I really haven't made up my mind about them, but why would anyone own an Escalade or H2 "truck?" There are not many vehicles cooler than an old, beat-up, can-count-on-it-everyday pick-up.

Cash for Clunkers

Old fools, dancing
Old fools who believe
that they can dance and sing