Pick-Up Artist

So I'm just reading the Sunday paper and working away at the computer, with whatever game is on in the background, which is pretty much my typical Sunday afternoon if no one bothers me (in other words, pretty rare).  I'm surrounded here by windows- I never counted them before, but there are exactly 100 of them in this room, 100 @11"x8" windows.  I live on a corner, and all these windows look out on both streets, so I look out a lot, and occasionally see things.  

Today's sight was innocuous but curious, as a young woman I hadn't seen before was walking a large dog I hadn't seen before.  Fortunately, our dogs were snoozing.  As one pup in particular also likes to look out the window, such a sight would doubtlessly incite some vigorous barking, as it does several times a day, but on this occasion I watched in peace as the big dog did what big dogs do on the lawn.  This is mildly irritating when the owner doesn't clean up- some do, some don't- but unlike my wife, who has been known to chase offenders down the street, I really can't get excited about it.  But in this instance, the lady who failed to clean up actually made me laugh.  As she pulled out her bag and turned it inside out, I nodded to myself approvingly, only to see her bend over and wave her hand over the poop, only pretending to pick it up, and making quite a show of it.  I've actually seen such behavior before, but never with such a flourish.  And what made me laugh was not just the histrionics, but the notion that the act was premeditated.  She actually took the trouble when leaving her house to pack a poop bag in order to have props for the performance.  Most offenders just ignore the mess and go on their merry way, apparently oblivious to civility, or, more likely, simply expressing the darkness in their soul.  But this woman knew that not cleaning up was wrong, anticipated that the situation would occur, but rather than do the right thing to avoid the social disapprobation of strangers, chose to pretend to do the right thing should strangers be watching.  

It's an unlucky man that will marry her, but not more so than the poor baby around changing time.  However, it seems unlikely that this insecure evildoer will have to worry about that.