Sunday, October 02, 2011

Till death do us part? A license to nil.

This is an idea I've been spouting for many years, and finally somebody has listened.  I suppose it's possible that others actually had this idea as well, especially since there are so few truly novel thoughts (including this one), but I like to think that I started the ball rolling on this one. 

Mexico reportedly is considering a marriage license that is valid for two years:  "The proposal is, when the two-year period is up, if the relationship is not stable or harmonious, the contract simply ends," Leonel Luna, the Mexico City assemblyman from the Party of the Democratic Revolution who co-authored the bill, told Reuters. "You wouldn't have to go through the tortuous process of divorce.”  The marriage contracts would include detailed provisions on how children and property would be divided up if the marriage ended at the two-year mark, Reuters reports.

Of course a very legitimate argument is why get married at all, but the reality is that there is a significant  social stigma associated with cohabitation.  I actually have a fairly strong bias against cohabitation, but it has moderated a bit over the years to be strong only against those that are young, certainly under 21, and probably under 23-25 or so.  I've heard the argument from young people living together that they do so for economic reasons, but that's nonsense.  If that were the case, then platonic roommates offer a better solution with a very high probability of a less acrimonious break when each goes their separate way, which is the very likely conclusion.  Parenthetically, I've read that those who live together prior to marriage remarkably have a higher divorce  than those who do not live together first. Cohabitating  at a young age is at best just playing house, and at worst prostitution.  But once you're an adult, do what you want, though I think if you're going to have kids, you should be married, generally.

So while you might think that dating and engagements serve the purpose of this "probationary" period, the fact is that you never really know your spouse until after you've been married for a while, and besides that truism it often happens that people change, sometimes not in compatible ways.  (One of my all-time favorite cliches is that "A woman marries a man hoping that he will change, and a man marries a woman hoping that she never will.  Both are usually disappointed.")  Really what we're talking about here is immaturity and unrealistic expectations.  But maybe that will change somewhat now that people are getting married so much later.(I've read that 29 is now the average age for first marriages for both genders- kind of hard to believe, but perhaps a good sign)
I think I'd make the marriage license period longer, but regardless of the length, this has no chance of passing, of course, because it makes too much sense.  Besides, Mexico is predominantly Catholic, and think of all the money the lawyers would lose.

image from brideminders.com

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