Monday, January 30, 2012

One picture is worth a thousand denials. [Ronald Reagan]

I was at a meeting recently before which people started showing pictures of their pets (serves me right for showing up on time).  This disturbs me on a number of levels. The first and most obvious issue is why would anyone carry around pictures of their pets?  I am known on several continents for my love of pets, and unabashedly admit that my last dog was one of the 3 greatest things I have ever loved, and though she's been dead for over 10 years, I still think of her every day.  But I don't carry pictures of her or the current pets.  I suspect the current portable electronic devices are much to blame here, though, as people can so easily take pictures and video of anything and anyone and transport them with their iPods et al.  I conclude, then, that you could talk about just about anything and people will have pictures to show.  I'll try to remember not to talk about vacations.

But beyond the ease of doing so, why do people want to have so many pictures in the first place?  I guess it facilitates memory, but I've always maintained that the memories are in my head so I don't need a lot of pictures.  As I grow older, however, I'm beginning to understand that memory becomes harder and maybe photos and videos make sense.  Unfortunately, I also suspect that there may be a small window here between pictures helping to remember and not being able to remember the pictures.

I've noticed that people enjoy showing pictures and videos much more than looking at them, and in fact, people will politely tolerate viewing other pictures for the privilege of  showing their own.  Of course, often it's just one of the social niceties that one extends to be civil.  I really haven't the slightest interest in looking at baby pictures- ever- but I often do, even requesting to do so, and coo appreciatively all for the purpose of making my friend or relative feel good.  A small price to pay for friendship.

And finally, just because you carry an appliance that allows you to quickly take a photo or video virtually anywhere does not necessarily entitle you to do so.  I understand that if I'm at the zoo or Disneyland that I have to be on the lookout not to spoil people's pictures.  But do I really have to wait in a supermarket aisle while someone pretends to be Carol Merrill displaying canned goods while her friend laughingly snaps a pic.  Hilarious.  Worse still is somebody just waiting for your awkward or embarrassing moment to take their version of America's Funniest Video and post it on YouTube or Facebook.  It's hard enough being an idiot without everyone anxious to make that known to the world.

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Monday, January 23, 2012

Teacher's Pet

 In the last blog I wrote a little about professors hanging with students, though not dwelling on the overtly lecherous and harassing behaviors.  There is definitely plenty of that around, sadly, but I don't get to see much of that going on and only hear stories from afar and usually of the past.  But I have also seen the students as the aggressors, though I must admit this was far more common when I was a young professor, so I'll have to rely on distant memories here.

I know I'm just an average looking guy, so that a student being inappropriately forward based on attraction was probably an uncommon and naive occurrence.  Yet when I was early in my teaching career there were a significant number of females (and even a male or two) who acted inappropriately, which I can only interpret as often being attempts to ingratiate themselves for the purposes of bettering their grades.  This was confusing for a short time, and rapidly became irritating as it is so insulting.  I can remember, for example, when some female students would dress purposely provocatively, presumably in the hope of positively influencing their grades.  I used to label them, generically and disparagingly, the "three button broads," as one common practice was to unbutton the third blouse button so that it was "Hello sailor."  I can even remember teaching in one of those tiered horseshoe-type rooms where one young woman a row or two up apparently "forgot" to wear panties that day and was seated in a less than lady-like pose.  I suppose such behaviors might influence a few, as there are too many professors, young and old, that abuse what little power they have or have little regard for morality.  But I have heard the phrase "I'll do anything for an A" ("How about studying?" was the response) and long ago learned to always keep the office door open when a co-ed enters.  There were some students that used to give gifts of some sort, and while I suppose that's usually well-motivated and innocent enough, it always made me quite uncomfortable (if accepted, I'd often give the gifts away).  You just have to look at students as "scenery."

So what I'm trying to communicate here is please don't flirt or worse with your professor.  Beyond being inappropriate, it really is insulting to us and demeaning to you.

Image from imdb.com

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Monday, January 16, 2012

"A friend in need is a friend to be avoided." [Lord Samuel]

As I like to say and I think represents most professors, we can be friendly but not friends with our students.  So don't confuse the two.  Most of us don't want to be socially involved with students, whether it's the innocuous play in a pick-up basketball game or the distressingly immoral "let's have a drink."  I'm not talking about the happen to see you in a bar and play a game of pool socializing, but the making of plans to socialize with students.  What I've noticed over the years is that the "cool" professors that like to hang with their students almost always have something wrong with them.  Usually they're immature, meaning that they have trouble making friends with peers and contemporaries, or they're looking for "inappropriate relationships."  At best, they're lonely and insecure and get their social satisfaction and/or respect from younger people.  At worse, they're "on the prowl." I can't think of any professor that was "normal" that spent a lot of time socializing with students.  But then, I have trouble thinking of any "normal" professors anyway.  

In general, if you're a professor's student and feel special that a professor would want to spend time with you, it's not a good idea to be friends, and a really, really bad idea to be more than friends.  After you are past the class/graduated, do what you want.

P.S.:  I'm just writing about college here.  Teachers fraternizing with high school kids is just sick and stupid, which I hope is so obvious as to not warrant elaboration.  What the bleep is wrong with those HS teachers we see in the news anyway?

Image from itunes.apple.com

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Monday, January 09, 2012

Raisin D'Etre

I've probably written about raisins before, as they are such a curious food and so inappropriately placed with other foods (oatmeal cookies are an obvious example, but really any other food applies).  And here they are surreptitiously placed in this bag of trail mix.  I very rarely eat trail mix- a little too much like granola and other not-as-healthy-as-you're-led- to-believe foods favored by plaid-shirters.  This bag just says dark chocolate and cranberry on the label.  Maybe Birkenstockers know that the dreaded wrinklies are in trail mixes labeled or not, but I believe I've been duped yet again by those lying stinking marketing weasels.

But I'm really wondering just how cheap the guy was who started selling raisins. Now being on the food pecking order well below the wife, kids, and dogs, I thoroughly understand the toss vs. eat decision as I face it every day.  Just this noontime as my daughter asked for a hot dog for lunch- and she seems plenty old enough to make her own hot dog, by the way- I found three let's just call them "past prime" specimens in the refrigerator.  They weren't long from being science fair material, and the average person would have unflinchingly tossed them in the garbage at arm's length with perhaps a gag reaction.  But I'm a man, and what I see is a hard earned dollar being wasted.  Of course I can't give it/them to my daughter, as princess has a wide band of unacceptability surrounding expiration date issues, inherited from her mother.  That usually leaves it up to the dogs and me, though in this particular case, there may be near-meat products involved (I try not to eat mammals), so it's just dogs for the dogs that are in play.  Typically I'll just wash off/cut off/ignore the most offensive elements of most items.  Most of my meals are things that the rest of the family won't eat and I don't want to throw away.  Though sometimes I'll try to trick them, as I attempted this afternoon when I combined the three open bags of salt and vinegar chips into one bag.  The princesses will notice what are not freshly opened, though, so I'm just kidding myself.

Which finally gets me back to the raisins.  That guy had to be way cheaper than me to eat those really rotten grapes.  And then to think that he could sell a lost crop at a profit, what chutzpah.  And this was decades before people hit upon the "dried fruit" angle (prunes as dried plumes... genius).  So my real question is grapes are purposely grown to be raisins, or whether they're grapes that have gone bad or were inferior grapes to begin with.  

And then there's croutons...

 Image from shubtastic.blogspot.com


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