Lube job

I finally got tired of seeing that check engine light on the dashboard- it had been there for months- and decided to carve out some time to get an oil change.  It's not so much that I'm lazy and irresponsible, though that's certainly part of the equation, but who has time for life?  Once a man marries, it's work, family, chores, and precious little else.  The lucky ones get to play golf.  So finding an hour for an oil change, a dentist appointment, and anything else that's not just a few minutes on the way to or from work is a hassle.

It seems so long ago since we changed our own oil.  Who would do that now?  For less than $30 someone else buys the oil, gets dirty, and disposes of the old stuff, and does so relatively quickly.  Of course, I can remember owning a car for which I never changed the oil, and I mean didn't change the oil for 216,000 miles.  I'd put in two or three quarts when the warning light had been on long enough, but I'm closer to an adult now.  So it was off to Jiffy Lube on my way into work.

There were a few older folks ahead of me and seated in the "lounge," so this wasn't going to be quite the jiffy for which I'd been hoping.  They were grousing about illegal immigrants as only older folks can, but at least one older lady gave me a coupon for $12 off (older ladies have all the best coupons), which trumped my $5.00 coupon.  That put me well below my $30 target, the most that I'll pay for an oil change.  I prefer to be in the $20 range, but can justify the added expense at Jiffy for the no-appointment convenience and much needed vacuum, etc.  The better coupon put me closer to $20, so I was feeling fat and happy.  But then I saw each of the old folks going for "the walk."

I've seen "the walk" many times at car service companies, especially brake shops.  You are led out to the shop floor to look at your dismembered automobile to observe the state of disrepair that is your car.  The technician clinically describes the dire circumstances and likely resulting fatality that would result should additional costly repairs not be effected.  For the very old, the very young, and the very female, it's like leading the lambs to slaughter.

I've long since learned what I can, cannot, perhaps can, and prefer not to fix myself, and not to expect the simple little things that I can do myself to have simple little prices when others do them.  The "yeah, sure, it's starting to rain so throw on a couple of windshield wipers" experience many years ago taught me that.  I've blocked out the memory of the price, but it might have been around $40 apiece- quite a shock for just snapping a $15 blade into a j-hook. But as you get older, you sometimes have others fix things that you could fix yourself, as you come to value the time more than the money, and besides, it's nice to have something done right instead of good enough.  As I've written before, when you're younger, you trade time for money, and when you're older, you trade money for time.

What really impressed me about today's "walk" at Jiffy Lube, when my turn inevitably came, was how well these guys presented the add-ons that generate their profit.  In my case, instead of just telling me that it needed a new air filter and cabin filter, or proving it by pointing to the offending parts while still partially assembled, they actually took the filters out, put them on a reasonably clean cloth, dirty side up, for examination.  And I noticed that when paying, the guy talked cars with anybody that cared to.  In my case, I learned that 2011 GM cars cannot be serviced with standard or even synthetic oil, but that GM has developed their own proprietary lubricant for these vehicles.  I don't imagine that, if true, this will come as a pleasant surprise for new GM owners.  I'm sure that chains will develop their own knock-offs so that the owners won't necessarily have to go to the dealers for an oil change, but I'm sure it will cost more than standard, too.  The point is I was impressed with how these guys did their selling and relationship building.  And I actually went for the cabin air filter replacement, which has never been changed in almost 6 years, as that thing is a pain to get to without chipping the vent panels, me with my butter knife, too thick screw driver, cloth and protective tape.  Not worth breaking/chipping the panels to save $10-20.  It would have been years ago, though.

Now to get a new inspection sticker, which is expired.  Hope I get to it before the end of the summer or the beginning of a license suspension.  Wish I had a personal assistant to take care of life for me.

Car Wars

A flat tire is an annoyance; multiple flat tires is an adventure (and not a very happy one).

Why does ice on the wiper blade always form at eye level? (Or any imperfection on the windshield)

There should be something you can do when that rock from the truck in front of you cracks your windshield (despite the naked lady mudguards). And the potholes too.

Does anyone ever run out of gas/break down anywhere near an open gas station in nice weather?

When you get your brakes fixed, don't you hate the inevitable "take-a-look-at-this" walk to your car on the lift to look at parts that look OK to you but will make the $100 job a $500 job?

When your car is getting old, why won't it just die? Instead, it tortures you with those $500-$1000 repairs that have you doing the "if-it-lasts-another-six-months-then-I-should-fix-it" mental calculus. Why can't it just drop the transmission so you can be done with it?

If you let your dog hang his slobbering head out the window, and we all do, eventually that window won't work right. Hopefully, it won't go down rather than won't go up.

Why does anyone with little kids buy a new car? It's like buying a white couch. That $20,000 vehicle will be worth about $2,000 within two weeks, or at least that's the most anyone would give you when they see the war zone back interior.

GPS systems are great, but will that woman ever stop talking? And bossy, too. (I'll be good and not write the next line).

There are a million of these; bet you have some too. One last question: should the passenger be allowed to adjust anything on the dashboard, especially related to the sound system?