Is that a zucchini in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

We are nearing the time of year when people discover that they have planted way too many vegetables in their home gardens and that they will never be able to consume all of the great bounty.  Solution?  Foist all that they can on everyone they know, and if that still doesn't liquidate the produce, fill the communal refrigerator at work and leave an anonymous note with a smiley face.  But here's the thing.  Most people don't like vegetables all that much, though a fresh tomato or cucumber is OK.  But you can only eat so many tomatoes.  Ditto squash and all of its mutations.  And just what do you think I'm going to do with a couple of eggplants the size of Popeye's forearms and a bagful of malformed peppers?  I think these vegetable givers do believe they are doing a good deed, and to an extent they are, with the bonus that they get to show the world that they are Mother/Father Earth (though the aforementioned foodstuffs are essentially weeds in their propensity to grow with little care, especially when purchased as small plants that just need to be moved from a carton into the ground).  I certainly don't begrudge them the satisfaction of growing things, and I agree that gardening is relaxing and even fun in its own way.  But what these kind-hearted folks don't realize is that at some point, and that point arrives quite soon, your cornucopia of generosity becomes to us an obligation to abet your vegetable dumping.  Why don't you start growing Oreos?  We like Oreos.

image from the calloftheland.wordpress.com