Broccoli stems are edible!

I live amongst a tribe of hedonists, the self-absorbed who cannot see a micron beyond their appetites. All many know or care about is what they want, and for them the ethical world may be easily dichotomized into "helps me" (good), "does not help me" (not good). This sounds a bit like the canine "edible/inedible" perspective of the world, but the big difference is that our furry friends are extremely flexible on the former. While I have mentioned this maddening perspective in a number of contexts and doubtlessly will continue to whine about others, the focus today is on food.

You know these irritating prima-donnas, likely raised with crustless sandwiches, unconscious about sending seemingly any minor culinary transgression back to the kitchen, and refusing to eat any parts that are not the optimal parts. In my house, that makes me the designated leftover consumer, and it is also my responsibility to consume the last 20% or so (if not all) of any sub-optimal food. At this time, and I wish this were hyperbole, there are three open jars of peanut butter, 5 unfinished loaves of bread, and three open tubs of margarine, for instance. It is often difficult to find pans, which are often hidden in the back of the refrigerator until they come walking out themselves. Most fruit is only rented, and how many cylinders of ice cream do we need with holes perfectly bored in the center so that none of the side-touching contaminated product is disturbed? I'm just warming up, but I think you get the point.

How can such unabashedly selfish wastefulness be justified? Oh, let me guess, you deserve the best, right? Whether to impress your friends, reward yourself for the arduous travails you face, or just "because you can;" you must be very special. Listen up, princess (or prince), we're all special, and since we're all special, nobody is special. There really are people starving in China, and Chad (know where that one is, Sunshine?), and America.

Now if you don't want to kick in a few bucks or a little time once in a while to help a cause- any cause beyond your personal needs- that's your business. But you do not have to be the wolf thinning out the deer herd, OK? Conserve a few resources. When the next piece of cake is a corner, you eat that one and don't skip to a better piece (You know who you are). A chip touches the tartar sauce, eat it anyway. And for the love of god, eat the darn pizza crust!