Butterball

Thanksgiving is undoubtedly the greatest of all the holidays, unless you're doing the cooking. But as we eat ourselves into oblivion and waddle over to the couch in a tryptophanic stupor to watch the annual Detroit Lions debacle, there is a vague subconscious recognition that today signals the annual complete capitulation to sedentariness that will negate any positive health gains made to date. It may have started with the Halloween candy nibbling, or perhaps the semi-annual autumn cold that obstructed the physical regimen you had doggedly adhered to in the summer, or maybe it was just the cold, wet weather. But now, with the leaves raked, the pies baked, the clocks turned back, and the end of most outdoor activities, your health regimen has waned, and now the eating season is officially in gear. Oh, there may be a short respite from the sloth and gluttony due to the guilt-impelled New Year's resolution, but that brief moment of self-realization will soon dissipate once again. So maybe you'll spend an incredible amount of money on a treadmill. The over-under on the number of times you'll use that is around five. Or maybe you'll start yet another doomed diet. Yes, another one.

The point of all of this is that now is the time. When you see that you are three pounds over, for instance, realize the wisdom in the old adage that "a stitch in time saves nine." You have to do something this weekend to get back on track or you will once again start from ground zero in April. I have found over the years that my peak condition is probably in early fall, but the advancing years, northern climate, and penchant for excuses (the two week cold, the sore ankle, the incredibly busy schedule, the cold and inclement weather, etc... I got a million of them) gets me off-track around this time of year, and before I know it it's April and that first three mile run leaves me mighty sore. So this year I've got the too-expensive running gloves, the too-tight "wicking" cold-gear shirt, the too-unmanly ear-warmers, and now the public disclosure that the running program will continue.

Finally, for the young adults reading this, there is just no excuse. It is so easy for you at this age compared to what it will be like in your future if you let yourself go now. When you are 20, you have to go out of your way to not be in shape. At 30, the first signs of aging begin to appear, but they are benign (oh look, my first gray hair). Conditioning requires relatively slight effort. At forty, your body begins to change significantly. Your near-sight decreases, your middle begins to thicken, and you've lost a step. Conditioning requires some effort, and you have to start thinking about what you eat. At 50, your body has degraded noticeably, particularly the muscular-skeletal system. Your metabolism has slowed. Bad joints and injuries mean that conditioning not only requires great effort, but also some imagination in constructing a regimen that will do more good than harm, and food monitoring is more than just calories. I don't know about 60 yet, but I imagine that the loss of neurological efficiency presents enormous challenges. Synaptic operation is plummeting, as is sensory organ efficiency. You are tired, and it's hard to recall information quickly. Maintaining internal organ health is a priority. I'll stop there, as what I'm trying to say here is that now is the time, as ye shall reap what ye shall sew. Now is the time in your life to make the future a better one. Now is the time of year to "nip it in the bud." Now is the time, as Nike said with one of the greatest slogans of all time, to "Just do it."

Car Wars

A flat tire is an annoyance; multiple flat tires is an adventure (and not a very happy one).

Why does ice on the wiper blade always form at eye level? (Or any imperfection on the windshield)

There should be something you can do when that rock from the truck in front of you cracks your windshield (despite the naked lady mudguards). And the potholes too.

Does anyone ever run out of gas/break down anywhere near an open gas station in nice weather?

When you get your brakes fixed, don't you hate the inevitable "take-a-look-at-this" walk to your car on the lift to look at parts that look OK to you but will make the $100 job a $500 job?

When your car is getting old, why won't it just die? Instead, it tortures you with those $500-$1000 repairs that have you doing the "if-it-lasts-another-six-months-then-I-should-fix-it" mental calculus. Why can't it just drop the transmission so you can be done with it?

If you let your dog hang his slobbering head out the window, and we all do, eventually that window won't work right. Hopefully, it won't go down rather than won't go up.

Why does anyone with little kids buy a new car? It's like buying a white couch. That $20,000 vehicle will be worth about $2,000 within two weeks, or at least that's the most anyone would give you when they see the war zone back interior.

GPS systems are great, but will that woman ever stop talking? And bossy, too. (I'll be good and not write the next line).

There are a million of these; bet you have some too. One last question: should the passenger be allowed to adjust anything on the dashboard, especially related to the sound system?

Give and Take

There is an argument to be made that there are no truly altruistic acts, that all giving is done with the expectation of receiving something in return, if only psychological satisfaction of some type. However, I don't think that receiving pleasure from doing good is hardly worthy of criticism. The more interesting cases are those with a "social reciprocity" mentality, where everything is quid pro quo. There is a lot more of this than you might think (and students, your perceived hard work does not obligate the instructor to reciprocate with a good grade).

Christmas cards are a good example, where cards are given to those from whom you've received cards. While it should be simply send a card to those to whom you'd like to extend greetings, it often becomes an exercise in social reciprocity, an obligation rather than a heartfelt act. Did you ever find yourself sending a card only because you got one, and how many times must you not receive a card from someone to cut them off your list? I find kids' parties/events/fundraisers/etc. to be like this, as you basically just go to/give to theirs so that they'll come/give to yours. And did you ever notice that when women converse, especially older ones better schooled in the social graces, that they often wait their turn, in an orderly and remarkable manner, to talk about themselves. There are lots of examples of the "If I do this then you owe me that" mentality, from the cliched and distasteful I-bought-you-dinner-then-you-owe-me... to the more normal I-bought-the-last-round...

This reciprocation phenomenon, a subset of equity and balance theories, is well-documented in psychology, where receiving something from another places a feeling of obligation on one to even the scales. While that seems obvious, what is less so is how many people take this to extremes in keeping score. They may actually record how much you spent on a wedding or Christmas gift, keep track of who paid for lunch, and know precisely who owes who a favor. Their lives are consumed with balancing the scales, and Lord help you if you fail to reciprocate proportionately and have more debits than credits.

Beware the "scorekeepers."

Trick or Treat

When did bluechips become penny stocks?

We all win

Hilary is not president, and likely never will be. George W., the worst president ever, will soon be gone. That's a win-win!

I'm a little worried that Mrs. Obama may have a little Mrs. Clinton in her. I was a lot worried that Mrs. Palin would be in line for the presidency. Too bad about Senator McCain; I really liked him in 2ooo. Where did he go in 2008?

The Day After

Unbelievably, after I wrote the last entry I got home to find that my wife had bought a couple of bags of the dreaded dum-dums, which meant I had to go out after Halloween for the half-priced good stuff. Of course, there are many that prudently buy the candy well before the event so as to be well-prepared, but to buy candy early is to buy candy twice. It's an old retail trick to display candy prominently and early for Halloween to spur the impulse early buy, but I've been told that pharmacies will place candy in aisles on the way to the prescription counter and at least three of four will buy candy along with their prescriptions. Seems hard to believe, but that's what the pharmacists tell me. Good thing pharmacies can't sell liquor.